Wish there were a “dislike” button? Well, damn—you should have wished for something much better. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced today that a “dislike” button is imminent for Facebook, the terrible social network that you hate.

Remember this disturbing video of North Koreans sobbing over Kim Jong-il's death? Shocking to think this, I know, but those people mayyyyy not have been entirely genuine in their mourning. Because, you know, the government reportedly sends people who don't weep or mourn publicly to labor-training camps.

Here's a clip of North Koreans of all ages, openly and hysterically weeping in the streets over the death of Kim Jong-Il, broadcast on the same state media whose anchor broke down in tears while she read the news of the dictator's death. Seems like a healthy place, North Korea!

Michael Jackson died. And today is the huge, public memorial clusterfuck. On this post we'll be sharing, in the comments, our reactions to the event as it unfolds on every television network ever. Join us!

If having your loved one cremated and poured into a jar that sits in your house isn't enough remembrance for you, LifeGem has a better idea: take those ashes, subject them to a huge amount of force, and create a diamond to wear around. You'll always know the gem was made from, as the company puts it, a very special "carbon source"—that means your loved one! You can even get them for your pets, which are also diamond-worthy carbon sources. Once your order is delivered, we imagine, you sing a creepy little song about "the diamond within you," and cackle maniacally. Strange business. As TNR points out, this would be an apt fate for Charlton "Soylent Green" Heston. Below, some of the company's gently persuasive sales pitch, which is somehow hair-raising. There's no right way to sell this product.

Instruct your assistant to hold all your calls, poor yourself a tumbler of whiskey, and fire up the Bose Wave to ease you into haunting opening strums of Gustavo Santaolalla's "The Wings"—this next one's going to be a little rough. Sources from the New Mexico set of Jake Gyllenhaal's new movie Brothers tell People that the actor is "devastated" since learning of his Brokeback Mountain sharpshooting partner's death: