God. Damn. As both an incredible commentary on where MTV has gone and how far Julia Allison's managed to take herself, we present to you Ms. Julia Allison's MTV debut, on Alexa Chung's new show.

The media needs heroes in these dark days. And what is more heroic than fighting off a Sex Thug, hmm?

And you thought all teens and twentysomethings were shallow wastoids. Turns out they hate The Hills and other muck same as you. At least execs at MTV are hoping that's true, as they've just completely restructured based on that assumption.

In your ever-gray Wednesday media column: Les Moonves can barely afford a dozen new million-dollar condos, The Daily Beast folds on freelance contracts, layoffs at MTV and TruTV, and the New York Times Co. is sick of your rumormongering.

Hot on the heels of last week's news that MTV had ousted top exec Brian Graden—part of a reorganization, according to the company—comes word that the network laid off another 75 employees today. [B&C]

Brian Graden, a veteran programming executive at youth culture battle-axe MTV, has thrown in the towel after twelve years. In his goodbye memo to staffers, forwarded to us, Graden mentions an as-yet-unexplored dream: To do musical theater. Adorbs.

• It's an ugly day at MySpace. The News Corp.-owned social network is slashing nearly 30 percent of its staff, or 400 people, due to a decline in sales. [BN, PC]
• Protesters in Iran have been using Twitter to keep up with developments on the ground. Now the State Department is stepping in and asking the company to put off a planned upgrade so service isn't disrupted. [Reuters]
• MTV entertainment president Brian Graden is departing the network. [NYP]
• It's official: NBC is dumping Live at Five and replacing it with an hour-long "daily information, lifestyle and entertainment show." [NYO]
• Interview dropped editorial director Glenn O'Brien last week. Now the magazine's parent company, Brant Publications, is suing him for allegedly breaking the terms of his confidentiality agreement. [WWD]

In your ugly Thursday media column: a Chinese newspaper executive is brutally murdered, Sears pimps 'Good News,' John Norris picks up a new gig, and somebody's interested in the Boston Globe:

• Lindsay Lohan is stirring up a bit of trouble in Paris. Apparently she's been in discussions with Emanuel Ungaro about signing on as a "creative consultant," although Ungaro's Esteban Cortazar is threatening to walk if that happens. [P6]
• An "insider" says a "fragile" Britney Spears doesn't really want to be on tour, but her dad has been forcing her into it. [MSNBC]
• Christie Brinkley says she has no plans to get married again and doesn't really know why anyone would bother getting married, but does still believe in "true love," if that's any consolation. [Us]
• Amy Winehouse's "last-ditch" plan to sober up isn't going so well. Instead of six shots of tequila for breakfast, she now settles for two. [DM]

It's generally a pretty safe assumption that something ridiculous will happen each year at The MTV Movie Awards, and tonight's version of the show did not disappoint. Sacha Baron Cohen just descended bare-assed from the ceiling as "Bruno" and landed in Eminem's lap in the "69" position. Hilarity ensued.

• The Costume Institute Gala is a mere five days away. Fashion Week Daily has a roundup of who's going, who isn't, and what everyone will not be eating. (Chicken, in case you were wondering.) [FWD]
• The Observer on Alexandra Kotur, the "Viscountess of Vogue." [NYO]
• It seems some women are so addicted to the discount designer site Gilt Groupe that they're practically going bankrupt buying stuff they really don't want or need. [TDB]
• It's official: Madonna is attached to Louis Vuitton's new ad campaign. [Grazia]
• Isaac Mizrahi rang the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange yesterday. The market has been having a surprisingly solid week so far. Could the two be connected? We'll say yes, if it's okay with you. [Facebook, WWD]

In your foggy Monday media column: Reporters in peril. Institutions crumbling. David Denby and Dan Abrams to the rescue!

Unless you have reason to keep track of focus group-speak, you may not know that those born after 1980 are no longer members of Gen Y: They're Millennials, and unlike the brash, acquisitive, me-me-me Gen Y brats with their bling and labels and rainbow parties, Millennials are apparently leading the zeitgeist's new mood of worthy earnestness. Needless to say, this a huge pain for MTV, which is now obliged to supplement its usual rotation of spoiled vapidity displays like My Super Sweet 16 with shows that—God help us—are more community-spirited and "inspirational."

Last year, MTV really screwed over its freelancers, delaying their paychecks and even hoarding charity stipends. This year, we hear, it's firing some so as not to pay benefits, and making them train replacements.

• Mark Bowden's 11,000-word profile of Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. for the May issue of Vanity Fair is now online. And it ain't pretty. [VF]
• In other Times news, the paper is scrapping its "City" section and has shut down the International Herald Tribune website. [NYO, E&P]
• For the first time, CNN will finish March behind MSNBC and Fox News. [AP]
• He's only been on the air two months, but Glenn Beck's "conservative populist anger" has already put him right behind Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. [NYT]
• Adweek, MediaWeek and Brandweek may be folded together. [NYP]
• News Corp. is hiring ex-AOL CEO Jon Miller to lead its digital division. [WSJ]
• The Huffington Post is launching an investigative journalism site. [AP]
• MTV is bringing back music videos! Sort of. [NYT]

Nicole Kidman and Woody Allen join forces, cable ratings are up, the Kennedys get a conservative treatment, Ian Somerhalder is back, and, just maybe, so is Jesus.

• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone have been in Brazil since late last week, presiding over the opening of a new store and showing off their gold rings. Now they say they're thinking about adopting a baby girl, too. [Fashionologie]
• Speaking of Marc, the life-size hamster wheel in the window of his Bleecker Street kids store is back. [Racked]
• House of Style returned on Saturday. Just what you needed: a "recessionista rescue" by Jessica Stam. [Jezebel]
• A recession bonus: expensive models are no longer that expensive. [AdAge]
• Erin Wasson's garage sale in LA was a mob scene, as expected. [RackedLA]
• The Times chats with Dree Hemingway, model, actress, daughter of Mariel Hemingway, and new Twitter fan. [NYT]
• The "obscure private label watch brand" worn by Barack Obama is a little less obscure these days. Funny how that happens. [WWD]

Olivia Palermo is getting a little help from MTV as she tries to convince the world she isn't as horrible as you might think she is given her role as resident bitch on The Hills. Per the network's "official" TV blog: "With all the Olivia bashing that's been going on lately, we wanted to remind you that she has a totally separate life from what you see on The City. Not only is she way more casually dressed in person (we've spotted her in jeans and heard her cop to breaking out the spandex!) but she's also way more chill. And happier! And dating the hottest guy ever." Okay, sure, Johannes Huebl is nothing to sneeze at. But the hottest guy ever? Bold claim, MTV! But feel free to watch the video of Johannes flexing his abs in "nut-hugging briefs" so you can judge for yourself.

In your rumormongering Thursday media column: rumors of layoffs and shenanigans at Viacom and Sesame Street (updated), Felix Salmon jumps the Fort Polio ship, Jay Carney flackery, and a journalism grad is broken:

MTV is using rock stars and their super-sluttiness to teach all Brazilians about safe sex. Thanks, Madonna and Mick Jagger, you sluts! And thanks to everyone you screwed, as well.