MTV has confirmed its wacky plans to give a TV show to the young men behind CollegHumor.com. What a good time to review all we know about CollegeHumor boss Ricky Van Veen!

The 850 layoffs at Viacom today—including hundreds at MTV—are claiming the livelihoods of tons of hardworking people who did their jobs well without ever receiving fame and fortune. And just like when a jumbo jet crashes with hundreds of souls aboard, the first question is: "Were any celebrities involved?" You know you were thinking that, you heartless swine. Well (according to an unconfirmed rumor from an inside tipster), your third-favorite MTV correspondent-for-life, John Norris, was laid off today. After the jump, we've got other reports from the Viacom scene.

The long-feared Viacom pre-post holiday layoffs are here, and they're not pretty. We heard earlier that as many as 300 layoffs might be coming at MTV today, but the total, Viacom-wide numbers are even worse: 850 people are being cut, about 7% of the company's global staff. And top management is "suspending salary increases" next year, if it makes you peons feel any better. The full internal memo that went out this morning is after the jump; if you know more about the specific breakdown of the layoffs, email us. UPDATES: additional memos from MTV and Paramount added below:

• RealNetworks and Viacom subsidiary MTV closed down the entire New York office of their joint Rhapsody America online music venture, a tipster tells us, sending the roughly 25 staffers packing, albeit with severance. A lone Rhapsody staffer transferred to RealNetworks' New York office. The service will continue operating, via Real's west coast offices.

Chatter about big layoffs at Viacom and its MTV unit have been in the air for weeks, with firings at the latter recently expected Wednesday or Thursday of this week. Hell, the bloodletting may already have begun. But the latest gossip says the worst is yet to come: A gobsmacking 300 people coast to coast let go by the end of the week, one tipster claims. Higher level staff supposedly get their briefings Wednesday. It will be interesting to hear whether the company takes this opportunity to visit vengeance on the mistreated permalancers who embarrassed the company so badly last winter. We're ready to listen!

I watched two documentaries last night. The first was Frontline's famous 2001 essay "The Merchants of Cool," about the big, cynical business of marketing to young ones. It particularly focuses on MTV and how they, with definitively ugly success, figured out a way to throw advertising at kids without the kids really noticing. Then I watched that network's unveiling of Britney: For the Record, a supposed "tell-all" featuring Britney Spears, the smeared and unfocused pop star, that was, in my opinion, the acme (or nadir, not sure which) of this sneakily integrated marketing strategy. Here was not just the party, not the curious almost-normalness of Ms. Spears, not her childish funny voices, not even just her well-guarded children. No, here was something deeply sad—a bit haunting, a bit evocative—but nonetheless blatantly selling a new album and some chintzy perfumes. It was an infomercial asking us to, in some ways, buy a wayward young person. It was strange and vaguely interesting and I'll talk a bit more about it after the jump.

In 1992, suave Billy Clinton was sexin' the nation and wearin' boxers, and MTV had a big ole inaugural ball that was reportedly the hottest ticket in DC, even though Don Henley was the main act, which just goes to show once again that political people are really not cool when you get right down to it. But during the Bush years MTV had no inaugural balls, because Bush was so non-embodying of the Music Television vibe, you know? Well now Barack Obama is president and MTV is once again having a big cool inaugural ball! This is the single worst consequence of Barack Obama's election. [Ad Age; pic via]

♦ CBS is expected to win November sweeps for the eighth straight year. [AP]
♦ Another victim of the recession: publishing industry lunches. [NYO]
♦ The Super Bowl isn't looking up for NBC. Sales of 30-second ads have slowed and there are rumors some companies are now asking for discounts. [AP]
♦ In an attempt to ride Barack Obama's coattails to relevancy, MTV is planning a "Rock 'N Roll Inaugural Ball" for January 20. [AdAge]
♦ Life & Style is on life support and is laying off staff. [NYP]
♦ Contenders to take over Meet the Press include David Gregory, Gwen Ifill, Andrea Mitchell, and NBC political director Chuck Todd. The news may be announced December 7th. [LAT]

Rumors have been floating around for the last month that Viacom is planning a big round of layoffs. The latest: we hear that MTV is planning one round of cuts for early December, and another in January. Both would technically miss the holiday, making them appear slightly less Scrooge-like. If you have any details (or denials), email us.

Do you feel that tingly spark in the air today, especially as you near Times Square? It's because Total Request Live, MTV's long-running afterschool music video special is coming to an end after ten years, signing off on Sunday with a special big send-off bash. Yes, one of the last remaining programs on the cable net to still air videos (albeit at truncated lengths and often interrupted by shrieking teenagers) will be no more, ceding like everything else to the Date My Moms and Hills of the world. Ironic, because in some ways, actually, the top 10 videos of the day countdown show helped create the new MTV landscape that eventually came to usurp it. The draw of TRL was never really the actual videos. It was the spectacle view of dizzying Times Square, the live-ness, the celebrity appearances, the affable and comfortably hip hosts (Carson Daly! And, um, Jesse Camp! And that girl from One Tree Hill!) It was really about the lifestyle of liking music, the thrill of just being thrilled, the ecstasy and immediacy and bittersweet fever dances of being a kid and out of school and having stumbled upon this great big infinite thing called Personality (I like this song—I am rock! You like that video—you are pop!). That celebration of the culture of music, rather than the music itself, has spilled over into the network's current top hits, like The Hills. That particular reality dollop of non-fat Cool Whip expertly employs the hit songs of tomorrow to evoke, along with the swirling cameras, a soaring and sprawling range of feelings. Like music usually is in real life, music on MTV now serves as the illustrative background to the people dating and getting made and dancing and competing and existing in the fore. And we've TRL to blame/thank for that—for adding a bit of shape to the world as it's seen through the MTV lens. It said "here we are, set at on all sides by movies and television and pretty people and hormones, and here, in brief, is the soundtrack to accompany all of it. And you chose it." And those huge picture windows overlooking the crowds and lights and glitz, through which we could look out and others could look in! A glass case of emotion! !!! Click to view

Eran Egozy and Alex Rigopulos, the MIT-educated creators of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, have earned a $150 million bonus from Viacom, whose MTV unit bought the game. The pair are on track to earn an even bigger bonus in 2009. (Photo by Newsweek/John Huet)

Rumors of pending layoffs at Viacom have been floating around for weeks now. The media conglomerate is in terrible debt, and just yesterday announced that it's canceling its holiday parties from coast to coast. Today, a tipster has sent us an internal memo from Bob Bakish, the head of MTV Networks, that grimly alludes to "unprecedented economic challenges" that have caused a hiring freeze, and will affect spending "dramatically" through the entire coming year. Will the company start off the new year with a round of layoffs? Eminently possible. Bakish's full internal email, after the jump:

Barack Obama did an interview with yesterday with Sway, MTV's official friendly ambassador from the land of hip hop. A viewer asked him about towns that try to pass laws banning baggy pants. First Obama said those laws are a "waste of time." But then he added, "brothers should pull up your pants!" Is Barack Obama a fashion icon, or your grumpy old dad—or is he both?!?! [UPDATE: Clip of the interview below!]:

A year ago, Viacom sued YouTube for one billion dollars, claiming YouTube was not blocking uploads of copyrighted Viacom material from Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, MTV, VH1 and others. Today, MySpace will join YouTube in running ads targeted to Viacom-owned clips, instead of deleting them. Auditude, a Palo Alto startup, provides the software that identifies Viacom-owned content. Remember when musicians believed all advertising was evil? Now, I'm looking forward to seeing a Big & Rich ad targeted against another Big & Rich ad, overlaid by another Big & Rich ad for a Big & Rich ad I haven't seen yet. Collect them all!

Nikki Finke says that MTV is planning a massive round of layoffs. And they've decided to do it on Tuesday so that the news is totally overshadowed by Election Day. True? We don't know. But it isn't a bad idea. All those hipstery PAs won't know whether to mourn the loss of their jobs or celebrate the election of Barack Obama, and we're guessing the two will cancel one another out. That Judy is a clever one, isn't she? [Deadline Hollywood]

♦ Teen Vogue is opening a retail outlet at the mall in Short Hills, New Jersey. It'll be called "Teen Vogue Haute Spot" and, no, this is not a joke. [NYT]
♦ More than 20 percent of American households watched Barack Obama's infomercial on Wednesday night. [NYT]
♦ Joe the Plumber is pursuing a country music deal and could have an album out by Inauguration Day, although we're going to assume this won't be Barack's musical choice for the big day. [Politico]

Civil war is stirring near Audrina Patridge's plush new Hollywood Dell redoubt, where the MTV crews following her every supple, dignified move has drawn outrage from neighbors insisting that the city regulate nearby shooting shooting on The Hills. And after hearing the residents' appeal, the Los Angeles film office has in fact interceded to bring you less Audrina from the comfort of her own home — marking a small victory for a tormented community under siege, and possibly marking the West Coast front in America's burgeoning Hills defensive.According to E!, the new permit lasts 30 days and allows for local filming only once per week, and never on weekends. An unnamed Patridge foe cites narrow streets and fire hazards worsened by MTV vehicles, but a member of the underground army known as the Hollywood Dell Civic Association issued a more pointed opposition today:

Click to view Imagine a website where you can view every music video known to man. Yes, that's what MTV.com should have been 10 years ago. Now that MTVmusic.com exists, what is it good for? Oh yes: A whole new way to rickroll your friends.

Fat Chance: Our first exposure to the greenlit MTV show Model Makers — in which eager wannabe models would have to lose 80 pounds in 12 dangerous, light-headed weeks — managed to offend even our already MTV-wary sensibilities. Now, HuffPo blogger Darryl Roberts says that MTV has decided to quietly discontinue their plans to air Model Makers. Guess we'll have to fill the gap waiting for the premiere of Ruby! [HuffPo]

If you've made a committment to live a greener lifestyle, but you just don't know where to begin, perhaps you can take a cue from MTV's new ad campaign: The spot for water conservation features man, women and kids urinating in public throughout London. The ad campaign is only airing in Europe at the moment, but we look forward to a US version in the near future, if only to watch Bill O'Reilly turn it into a talking point about how America's youth has gone amok. The video is after the jump.