Golf-playing platitude generator Thomas Friedman has a grasp on the English language that would probably be described, by Thomas Friedman, as "a big tree in the forest swinging in the wind," because Thomas Friedman is just a god damn nonsensical shame, as a writer.

You may have thought that soothsaying mustachioed one-trick pony Tom Friedman had done his best work of the summer last week, when he achieved near-total conceptual pointlessness. Not so! Yesterday's column was an altogether masterful demonstration of Friedmania.

Say what you will about Times columnist Thomas Friedman*, but he at least reports his lousy columns, usually. Not today!

"Video of the pie throwing incident was posted on YouTube, and received close to 70,000 views in 36 hours, making it one of the most popular videos on the site. Without notice, YouTube abruptly censored the video, removing it from the website. Hundreds of news outlets, blogs, and websites had linked to the video. The Greenwash Guerillas have reposted the clip at: www.GreenwashGuerrillas.org [...]This is the second time Friedman has been hit by a pie. In October 2002, he received a banana pie to his face while promoting his writings on free-market globalization in Boston."

Reliably wrong New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was hit by a pie at Brown yesterday. There's a video! And also a leaflet. The leaflet is transcribed below, because we're sure you all want to know why Thomas Friedman was hit by pies. Oddly it had nothing to do with his mustache or defamation of cab drivers around the world. If a leaflet is not enticement enough, a clip of the pieing is after the jump.