Former Laguna Beach Season 2 star Kristin Cavallari now posts original (and not-so-original) content on a variety of online platforms: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and of course, the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android. But, as the essential blog Pop Culture Died In 2009 pointed out yesterday, she wasn’t always so Internet-savvy:

Morning comedy from Feb. 7, 2007: "Will Myspace ever lose its monopoly?" ("It may already be too late for competitors.")

Both David Bowie and Justin Timberlake, you may recall, announced (or coyly hinted at; it still might just be a Myspace party) the release of new music earlier this week, which is very exciting.

There needs to be a term for when the shining tech star of the previous generation of the internet burns out then sells for less than the world's most expensive dollhouse. MySpacing out? New York tech incubator Betaworks has bought the skeleton of Digg, once a social networking monster—it even got verbed!—for a paltry $500,000, according to the Wall Street Journal.

I was wrong. You may actually be able to delete your old embarrassing MySpace profile even if you're completely locked out of the account. But you must pose for a picture with your MySpace URL like it's 2003 and you're trying to prove to your webcam girlfriend that you're not a total scammer.

It's time to talk about one of the overlooked banes of the internet: The Curse of the Zombie MySpace Profile. Many former MySpace users are stuck forever with old profiles stamped across their Google results like a bad butterfly tattoo, reminding everyone of how lame they once were. Including me.

MySpace had a big summer "coming out party" planned for itself, to prove that it was full of new energy . Investor Justin Timberlake was going to be there and everything! Sadly, the social network had to cancel this party, because it continues to die.

For all the talk about Justin Timberlake taking over MySpace, it turns out that the real decision maker at the recently sold social network is a former Pepsi executive named Al Dejewski. And Dejewski's is proposing some tough love: detox, shape up, and focus on selling music, for bros. Oh, God, whatever, dad.

If a social network goes down, but nobody uses it, should we even blog about it? If it's MySpace, sure, why not. The Justin Timberlake vanity project crashed for a while last night, generating literally threes of concerned tweets and a couple of obligatory tech blog posts. But it's back, so you may now continue forgetting about it.

MySpace is so dead it's already circled back for a hipster revival. A 2005 themed party in Gowanus stars the zombified social network and seeks "your most embarrassing... myspacey photo ever." Check out the Evite and start loading your iPod.

Justin Timberlake has a minority stake in MySpace, newly acquired by the online advertising network Specific Media. How will he revive the near-dead social network? With a talent competition.

So shadowy digital repo concern Specific Media took MySpace off News Corp.'s hands for the joke sum of 35 million dollars. Thirty-five million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? Thirty-five billion dollars. And how do you make that much money? By getting Justin Timberlake to align his triple-platinum swag with your cobweb-strewn social networking relic.

Rumors of MySpace selling for scrap were correct: The dying social network has been sold to the advertising network Specific Media for $35 million, according to All Things Digital. Remember, News Corp. paid $580 for the site in 2005.

Well, this is embarrassing: News Corp. will probably sell MySpace for less than a tenth of what it paid for the social network, and for less than a third of its stated minimum bid. And, yes, big layoffs are coming.

We hear MySpace's Southern California offices are thick with rumors that the social network is planning some serious bloodletting this week. Scary as that sounds, some employees are apparently looking forward to the layoffs.

MySpace is shunned even by its parents. Founder Tom Anderson hasn't updated his status in more than a year, while founder Chris DeWolfe "cringes" during his rare visits. Forget finding a buyer; MySpace would have trouble just getting adopted.

After six months of trying to sell itself, animated GIF emporium MySpace has exactly one potential buyer, who only wants to buy part of MySpace, and at a very steep discount. This is getting rather pathetic.

MySpace's revenue has cratered and hope of an acquisition is distant. Time to sue the foundering social network while there's still a little money left in its checking account!

MySpace's revenue for the year ending June 20 will be just $109 million, according to documents distributed to potential buyers of the dying social network. Just a few years ago, the company was pulling in upwards of $900 million.

Reuters has a nice long dive of an article looking at how, exactly, MySpace ended up in the toilet after News Corp. bought it for $580 million in 2005. The best part, though, is short and sweet: