Every generation gets the moral panic it deserves. The 1980s had satanic cults and teen pregnancy, 1990s had designer drugs, the aughts had rainbow parties and Paris Hilton. Looks like the 2010s have cemented theirs: Sexting.

Congratulations, America! We have destroyed another teen icon. Vanity Fair's Nancy Jo Sales profiled Twilight panties-magnet Robert Pattinson, and the result is a neurotic portrait of a confused, fame-tortured agoraphobe. The opening salvo sets it up nicely:

In the most recent edition of Vanity Fair (the one with an airbrushed-to-oblivion Julia Roberts clutching a red rose between her teeth on the cover) Top Chef hostess and HBIC Padma Lakshmi bares her soul and mind to Nancy Jo Sales. What's in there? A lot of fucking and not much else!

On Entertainment Tonight, Vanity Fairest of them all writer Nancy Jo Sales explained the appeal of "bad boys" like Kevin Federline, Joel Madden, and Cisco Adler to "starlets" like Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, and Mischa Barton. "Dating one of these girls seems to be a one-way ticket to insta-fame. There doesn't really seem to be a downside," Nancy says. Um, except maybe for the girls, who must contend with polluted wombs, ruined careers, and visions of elephantine nutsacks that will haunt them for the rest of their days.