Jaycee Dugard has sold a memoir about her 18 years in captivity with depraved sex maniac Phillip Garrido. By coincidence, Natascha Kampusch—the Austrian girl who escaped from a sex dungeon at age eighteen—just sold a memoir, too.

"Natascha Kampusch, the Austrian teenager who was held prisoner for eight years in a basement, will have her own television chat show, her media adviser confirmed to CNN Thursday." Wrong. So so so.