Scotty McCreery misses his cue. Brad Pitt wasn't always a tragically overweight, dumpy-looking urchin with a comb-over. Kim Kardashian exposes herself to The Poors and learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Today's Gossip Roundup is sitting on the couch with some turkeys, playing video games and eating pumpkin pie topped with mashed potatoes instead of Cool Whip.
Mila Kunis finally gets her Marine Ball. Prince Harry is still partying in Las Vegas (and going to Cirque Du Soleil). Tareq Salahi is suing Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon for inscrutable reasons. Sunday gossip looks like an alien.
Kim Kardashian flies to Minnesota to talk with Kris Humphries face-to-face, or really face-to-chest, given their height disparity. Lindsay Lohan crashes Leo DiCaprio's party. Prince William is moving. Sunday gossip would never kiss Mel Gibson.
Not even Canada wants Russell Brand. Gene Simmons finally gets married, which means he can have sex for the first time. Kim Kardashian is nice to someone. Sunday gossip is ready to go hunting at Rick Perry's camp!
Tareq blames everything on Journey, then nuzzles a whoremonger and poses sexily in bed. Naomi Campbell blames her bad personality on abandonment issues. Kate Middleton spends four hours doing her hair. A male TV actor comes out of the closet. Tuesday gossip stopped believin' years ago.
Maggie Gyllenhaal lends vibrators to female friends. Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon say their adultery is "like a fairy tale." Kendra Wilkinson describes "sex on a jet ski." Wednesday gossip likes to share.
Ryan Gosling has had "two of the greatest girlfriends of all time," and neither of them are you. Lindsay Lohan loses something (that isn't her mind, her youth or her talent). And Salahi drama continues. It's Sunday gossip!
Lindsay Lohan crashes, and then gets kicked out of, Marc Jacobs' party. Tareq Salahi receives a picture of a penis in his mail—a penis we are reasonably sure does not belong to Justin Timberlake. Saturday gossip is here!
