Attention, non sportfan readers of Gawker.com: famous sport ball thrower Tim Tebow will render his athletic services unto the New York Jets, a corporate grouping of professional American football sportsmen, in the coming season. The New York Jets now have two quarter-back postion employees: accused rapist Mark "Sanchize" Sanchez and aggressively anti-choice part-time mohel Tim Tebow. Both have appeared in GQ.

Did you hear about Brett Favre sending cell phone pictures of his dick to former New York Jets sideline reporter and Playboy model Jenn Sterger? Yeah, gross. As with all high-profile current events, Taiwan's Next Media Animation has a recap.

Ben Harper and Laura Dern: Splitsville, USA. Population: Them. Justin Bieber's new line of nail polish! Mariah Carey throws a birthday bash. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spotted doing normal couple things. Sunday Gossip Roundup! It's here.

[Fergie and Jennifer Lopez take a break from their daily wrinkle-reducing cryogenic treatments to take in the New York Jets vs. Miami Dolphins football game. Image via INF.]

Last night's Hard Knocks featured the perennially injured short guy Danny Woodhead. The former NCAA leading rusher isn't normally considered on par with Rudy, but it was Division II, which is basically tantamount to cheating. Enjoy the Jets' praise inside.

Super Bowl XLVIII will be at the new, open-air Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey. Way to ruin it for everyone, NFL. Now the big game will be about frostbite instead of leeching off an expense account in a warm climate.

Haiti? Old. The deficit? Boring. America's most important news story today: The fat Jets coach flipped the bird to the camera. Could this be the most inane New York Post cover of the decade thus far? It does have competition.

Jets owner Woody Johnson says he's endured a "brutal couple of weeks" since learning of the death of his troubled (and estranged) daughter, Casey Johnson.

A mortgage exec (and hardcore Jets fan) named David Findel was the one who paid $400,000 for the rights to the two best seats at the team's new Meadowlands stadium. (The bad news: The team only sold off 620 of the 2,000 licenses in the exclusive "Coaches Section" of the stadium.) The losers: Gary Vaynerchuk, the owner of winelibrary.com, and restaurateur Drew Nieporent. [NYP, Crain's]

It seems that Jets fans might be a bunch of drunk mooks, if this New York Times exposé on the harassment of women at Giants Stadium Gate D is to be believed. At halftime of each of that other New York football team's home game, thousands of men gather along the ramp to shout something the Times refuses to print at any woman who happens to appear in their line of sight. Then those women apparently bare their breasts.

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience. And body type.