In your finally Friday media column: the New York Times "eats crow" (funny joke LOL), the Newseum wins, ASME loses, and police charge Fox with being annoying:

• The LA Times ran an ad designed to look like an actual news story on the front page of the paper today. Much criticism has followed, obvs. [ATD, E&P]
• The NYT is asking its reporters to come up with cost-cutting ideas. [NYO]
• A Chicago-based Good Morning America staffer was given the boot after he tried to put his nose job on his corporate credit card. [P6]
• The acquisition of the Wall Street Journal was a giant misstep for News Corp., but Fox News is making Rupert Murdoch some money. [Reuters]
• Cablevision's Jim Dolan earned a $12.5 million pay package last year. [AP]
• Time Warner's Jeff Bewkes raked in $19.9 million in 2008. [MC]
• The 15 top moneymakers on primetime television. [Forbes]
• Barely-living Blackbook is now refusing to pay some freelancers. [Jossip]

A little before noon this morning, the New York Times' web site appeared to be going through some catastrophic hiccups. It comes up every third try or so on some computers at Gawker HQ, but here's what we've been getting:

This memo just went out to New York Times employees from assistant managing editor Rick Berke—free lunch, if you can think of a way to save the paper some cash!

Online aggregators are financial vampires sucking the lifeblood out of the news business! You know — evil digital upstarts like the Wall Street Journal, CNN, and the New York Times.

• To celebrate 1,000 episodes (and 35,892 sound effects), CNBC's resident buffoon, Jim Cramer, rang the opening bell of the NYSE today. [CNBC]
• Sales of romance novels are on the rise, since in times like these, we all just want to indulge in happy endings. Or something along those lines. [NYT]
• Why is the New York Times Co. frantically looking to cut costs at the Boston Globe? For one thing, it's on track to lose $85 million in 2009. [NYO, Portfolio]
• It's hard getting people to pay for newspaper content they now get for free. Let Coke guide you, Arthur Sulzberger Jr.: "Coca-Cola took tap water, filtered it and called it Dasani, and makes millions of dollars a year." [NYT]
• Magazines are blurring the line between editorial and advertising by putting ads on the cover. If they don't, they go bust. Rock, meet hard place. [NYT]

• Boston Globe staffers are still reacting to the news that the New York Times Co. may shutter the paper in 30 days if certain pay concessions aren't met. The paper announced it plans to raise newsstand prices, and a small group of staffers staged a rally last night in support of the paper. [E&P, WCVB]
• Peter Bart is denying claims he was ousted as Variety's editor. [NYT]
• The AP says that sites that use the company's content will have to obtain permission and share revenue with them, or they'll face "legal action." [NYT]
• Keith Olbermann aired a eulogy for his mom on last night's show. [HP]
• For his part, O'Reilly wasn't too cool with pics of two men kissing. [Gawker]
• Thomson Reuters chief Tom Glocer riffs on the future of the Times. [NYO]
• You can now watch NBC while sitting on PATH trains. Thrilling! [MW]
• Even more thrilling: Playboy has launched its redesigned website. [BR, Folio]

In a last-ditch attempt to prevent Michael Bloomberg from waltzing into another term on a cloud of money, the New York Times let rival Anthony Weiner plant a limp "push-polling" accusation on today's front page.

J. Ezra Merkin, the financier who handed more than $2 billion of his clients' money over to Bernie Madoff, has been sued by the New York attorney general. The New York Times employs Merkin's sister...

• The New York Times Co. says it will shut down the Boston Globe within a month unless the paper's unions agree to $20 million in concessions. [BN]
• Fox News gossip columnist Roger Friedman got axed after he reviewed a pirated version of Fox's new X-Men movie, Wolverine. [DHD, NYT]
• Vanity Fair is scrapping its annual "green issue." [Independent]
• Michelle Obama may be beloved by the media world, but she isn't a sure thing when it comes to selling magazines on newsstands, apparently. [AdAge]
• Playboy's former fashion director is suing the mag for discrimination. [NYP]
• Hearst's Country Living is launching a line of products. [MW]
• Michael Crichton died last November, but two more novels by the best-selling author will be published over the next year and a half. [NYT]
• Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morn, in case you missed it. [Jossip]
• Fast & Furious was No. 1 at the box office this past weekend. [THR]

So this finally happened: the New York Times Co. is threatening to close the Boston Globe if the union there doesn't agree to several harsh money-saving moves. In this case, it's not a bluff.

• Bill Keller says that New York Times readers have offered to donate money to keep the paper alive, which is both very sad and very sweet. [Politico, NYP]
• Hearst has asked all of its newspapers to reduce costs by 20 percent. [BN]
• The launch of Oprah's cable network has been pushed back to 2010. [NYP]
• Eliot Spitzer will hit the Today show on Monday, presumably to talk about the financial crisis, not about his personal life. [NYO]
• Tensions are reportedly running high at MSNBC after the network decided to give Ed Schultz a show and bump Norah O'Donnell and David Shuster. [P6]
• Breaking! The media appears to be rather fond of Michelle Obama. [WaPo]
• Last night's series finale of ER generated big ratings for NBC. [NYT]
• Is Google about to acquire Twitter? Not so much, says Kara Swisher. [ATD]

In recent weeks, the New York Times started punching back at many of its critics, breaking with a longstanding tradition of staying above the fray. Today, that new strategy backfired.

The New York Times would like to cut its employees pay by 5%, but before that goes into effect for reporters and other members of the Newspaper Guild, they need the union's okay. A memo that just went out after a council meeting says the Guild is loath to take the pay cut because a) they're pretty sure the 60-80 layoffs the NYT is threatening will happen with or without the pay cut and b) it would make more sense to save money by firing some of the do-nothing managers.

• All those layoffs at Forbes yesterday? They continue today, sadly. [NYP]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller has a few words for Marc Bowden, who wrote the Vanity Fair piece about Arthur Sulzberger Jr. Also? He thinks VF should really beef up its factchecking department. [Romenesko]
• The biggest media company in America? That would be Disney. [BN]
• Nine of the top 10 cable news programs belong to Fox News. [HP]
• The winners of the 2008 Peabody Awards were announced today. [AP]
• Wanda Sykes is getting her own talk show. [B&C]
• Video from Bill O'Reilly's chat with David Letterman last night. [MM]
• Guiding Light is done. The final episode airs Sept. 18. [THR]

The New York Times' management is full of good liberals, and they really don't like to fire writers. But cutting salaries and folding sections isn't as easy as it looks. Or as effective.

Sorry, Haverhill, Massachusetts lawyer Paul A. Magliocchetti. The New York Times photo desk thought you were that other Paul Magliocchetti. You know, the one just raided by federal prosecutors!

In your blustery Monday media column: The NYT's folding its City section, Sam Zell's a white devil, Fulcrum and Brandweek are teetering, and Dylan Ratigan's a populist:

• Mark Bowden's 11,000-word profile of Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. for the May issue of Vanity Fair is now online. And it ain't pretty. [VF]
• In other Times news, the paper is scrapping its "City" section and has shut down the International Herald Tribune website. [NYO, E&P]
• For the first time, CNN will finish March behind MSNBC and Fox News. [AP]
• He's only been on the air two months, but Glenn Beck's "conservative populist anger" has already put him right behind Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. [NYT]
• Adweek, MediaWeek and Brandweek may be folded together. [NYP]
• News Corp. is hiring ex-AOL CEO Jon Miller to lead its digital division. [WSJ]
• The Huffington Post is launching an investigative journalism site. [AP]
• MTV is bringing back music videos! Sort of. [NYT]

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. cancelled plans to cooperate with Mark Bowden's profile of him for Vanity Fair. Didn't matter: Bowden's piece is embarrassing enough as a write-around.