Earlier today, Sarah Palin and John McCain reunited to try and help save McCain's political career at an Arizona campaign rally. As the Republicans' approval ratings tumble, it's no surprise that its more popular members are sticking together.

People falling is funny enough. But news anchors falling when they're trying to reach across the table? That's enough ingredients to get a stew goin'.

It seems Anderson Cooper just can't catch a break these days. CNN's Silver Fox has been the target of endless speculation about his sexuality on the Internet for ages, but tonight, the talk switched to another medium... maybe? Video inside.

After being banned from speaking at a Canadian college for hate speech, Ann Coulter visited The Joy Behar Show to plead her case. When Behar asked her, "Why did you call John Edwards a f*ggot?" Coulter just squirmed and laughed.

This couple waited two months for a power pole to be installed on their land, and decided to celebrate its erection with skydivers, a parade, a feast, and a shaman blessing. Not since Festivus has a pole been so venerated.

After years of both sides debating the issue, President Barack Obama has finally signed health care reform into law. Democrats were all smiles today during the signing; meanwhile, Tea Baggers settled back into their routine of CSI and TV dinners.

Ever since Barack Obama took office, there has been a strong and vocal opposition to his presidency. The most popular movement among those loud voices is the Tea Party movement, a gang of roving idiots. Video inside.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with what was probably one of his greatest segments ever: a complete and utter destruction of everything Glenn Beck stands for and propagates. And Stewart did it as Beck. The incredible video, inside.

In case you haven't heard, the debate over health care reform has reached its boiling point. Luckily for us, we have Jon Stewart and The Daily Show to summarize the most ridiculous rhetoric that's being spewed by Republican lawmakers. Huzzah!

With Simon Cowell's departure from American Idol growing closer every day, many wonder what will happen to the country's favorite talent show. On her show tonight, Joy Behar put it bluntly: when Cowell leaves, Idol is doomed. Video inside.

South Park premiered its 14th season tonight and opened with a graphic reenactment of the confrontation between Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, last Thanksgiving that started it all. Oh, yeah: turns out the reenactment was a video game!

Tonight, Jon Stewart did what he's best at: mocking something while convincingly arguing against it. Stewart's target? The Catholic Church, for—among other things—covering up a gay prostitution ring run by a Vatican Choir singer for the Pope's usher.

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart issued an equal opportunity slap on the wrist to members on both sides of the Congressional aisle for their party-driven, hypocritical responses to the sex scandals of colleagues. Inside, video of Stewart's remarks.

You know who will never report on how useless the local news is? The local news! Because it doesn't involve inclement weather, an Amber Alert, or a home invasion. You know what local news is? Local news is the worst.

CNN reported today that MTV has decided to ban the airing of the music video for Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone" on its network. The most shocking thing about this is that MTV still believes its decision matters. Video inside.

Really, Jerry Seinfeld? You make your ~triumphant~ return to NBC with the horrid train wreck that is The Marriage Ref? Then, you reduce yourself to doing SNL cameos to desperately try to drum up publicity for it? Really? Video inside.

Tonight on Real Time, Bill Maher took Mitt Romney to task for being a "pandering shape-shifter." The real laughs came, though, when Maher unveiled a few modified versions of Romney's new book, No Apology. Video inside. Also: New Rules!

Today was ABC White House correspondent Jake Tapper's birthday! He got a Dora the Explorer cake. And then he made mean jokes about Robert Gibbs, who was just trying to have some fun.

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart delivered a one-two punch: one against President Obama for treating his health care reform speeches like campaign theater, and one against Fox News for continuing to spin its coverage. Inside, video of both.

Things are constantly happening, and it doesn't matter how interesting or soul crushingly banal those events are, because 'things happening' are the lifeforce of local news. All they have is time to kill! Bear sighting? Sure, why not!