Incredibly, a fake lesbian "makeout" session with a hot friend is apparently still considered a savvy way to generate buzz, when really it's usually a desperate-looking appeal to the most drunken and knuckle-dragging heterosexual men and a clear marker of emotional vacancy. To wit, Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert, reported snogging at Tenjune last night by a source who tells Us Weekly how Paris "loves putting on a show" (rilly?). After the jump,some landmark girl-on-girl couplings in the long, stupid history of psuedo-lesbianism:

Internet entrepreneur Mark Cuban warns viewers that, well, he's going to suck tonight on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars," thanks to a recent hip-replacement surgery that left the muscles of one leg weak. That's okay, Mark — from the very beginning, every vote for you was already a sympathy vote.