As any political campaign manager knows, sanctimonious attacks only invite a more outraged rebuttal. The Wall Street Journal's Google-slamming editor just learned how quickly anger boomerangs online.

Online aggregators are financial vampires sucking the lifeblood out of the news business! You know — evil digital upstarts like the Wall Street Journal, CNN, and the New York Times.

In your swashbuckling Wednesday media column: XXL-Giant feud update, NPR infighting, nobody's scared of ASME, the Boston Globe is mad, son, and dead goats save newspapers:

• To celebrate 1,000 episodes (and 35,892 sound effects), CNBC's resident buffoon, Jim Cramer, rang the opening bell of the NYSE today. [CNBC]
• Sales of romance novels are on the rise, since in times like these, we all just want to indulge in happy endings. Or something along those lines. [NYT]
• Why is the New York Times Co. frantically looking to cut costs at the Boston Globe? For one thing, it's on track to lose $85 million in 2009. [NYO, Portfolio]
• It's hard getting people to pay for newspaper content they now get for free. Let Coke guide you, Arthur Sulzberger Jr.: "Coca-Cola took tap water, filtered it and called it Dasani, and makes millions of dollars a year." [NYT]
• Magazines are blurring the line between editorial and advertising by putting ads on the cover. If they don't, they go bust. Rock, meet hard place. [NYT]

What's the mysterious plague that's killing newspapers? According to Google CEO Eric Schmidt, it's not search engines, Craigslist, or Monster.com. It's those agonizingly slow-loading websites!

In your traditional Tuesday media column: Dan Abrams insists he's clean, the Great Magazine Die-Off continues, newspapers are not doing well, TV on the good trains, and more!

• Boston Globe staffers are still reacting to the news that the New York Times Co. may shutter the paper in 30 days if certain pay concessions aren't met. The paper announced it plans to raise newsstand prices, and a small group of staffers staged a rally last night in support of the paper. [E&P, WCVB]
• Peter Bart is denying claims he was ousted as Variety's editor. [NYT]
• The AP says that sites that use the company's content will have to obtain permission and share revenue with them, or they'll face "legal action." [NYT]
• Keith Olbermann aired a eulogy for his mom on last night's show. [HP]
• For his part, O'Reilly wasn't too cool with pics of two men kissing. [Gawker]
• Thomson Reuters chief Tom Glocer riffs on the future of the Times. [NYO]
• You can now watch NBC while sitting on PATH trains. Thrilling! [MW]
• Even more thrilling: Playboy has launched its redesigned website. [BR, Folio]

In your deluged Monday media column: Conde's heartbreaking receptionist layoff, the Miami Herald is JUST FINE, Lee Abrams is a cuddly animal, and Iceland is so touchy:

J. Ezra Merkin, the financier who handed more than $2 billion of his clients' money over to Bernie Madoff, has been sued by the New York attorney general. The New York Times employs Merkin's sister...

A group of newspaper CEOs is planning a hush-hush meeting this week outside an industry convention. First, they'll have a barely-legal chat about all charging for online content. Then? Oh this is hilarious:

The NYT Co. has threatened to shutter the Boston Globe if the paper's union doesn't accept serious cutbacks. So Globe reporters hit the streets to find old people who read the Globe, and quote them:

So this finally happened: the New York Times Co. is threatening to close the Boston Globe if the union there doesn't agree to several harsh money-saving moves. In this case, it's not a bluff.

In your temporarily de-Nolanated Friday media column: Hearst learns that investigations don't require ink, a lefty New York radio station gets locked out, Bill Keller's irony goes unappreciated, and Andrew Sullivan gets some help.

• Bill Keller says that New York Times readers have offered to donate money to keep the paper alive, which is both very sad and very sweet. [Politico, NYP]
• Hearst has asked all of its newspapers to reduce costs by 20 percent. [BN]
• The launch of Oprah's cable network has been pushed back to 2010. [NYP]
• Eliot Spitzer will hit the Today show on Monday, presumably to talk about the financial crisis, not about his personal life. [NYO]
• Tensions are reportedly running high at MSNBC after the network decided to give Ed Schultz a show and bump Norah O'Donnell and David Shuster. [P6]
• Breaking! The media appears to be rather fond of Michelle Obama. [WaPo]
• Last night's series finale of ER generated big ratings for NBC. [NYT]
• Is Google about to acquire Twitter? Not so much, says Kara Swisher. [ATD]

It was barely 18 months ago that Rupert Murdoch told the world he would soon stop charging for access to the Wall Street Journal's website. Now he says free content should be abolished.

In recent weeks, the New York Times started punching back at many of its critics, breaking with a longstanding tradition of staying above the fray. Today, that new strategy backfired.

Software designer Tom Hume made use of the Guardian's API doohickeys to find out how often it's printing dirty words. Who knew Brits were so skittish about "wank"? [Chart via his Flickr]

In your magaziney Thursday media column: Maxim UK's dead in print, Airline magazines go terrestrial, Michael Wolff's Vanity Fair retribution piece, and Esquire plays with toys:

In your troubling Wednesday media column: layoffs at Conde Nast and the Boston Globe, Bill Keller fights back, King's officially dead, North Korea's still mean to journalists, and more:

• All those layoffs at Forbes yesterday? They continue today, sadly. [NYP]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller has a few words for Marc Bowden, who wrote the Vanity Fair piece about Arthur Sulzberger Jr. Also? He thinks VF should really beef up its factchecking department. [Romenesko]
• The biggest media company in America? That would be Disney. [BN]
• Nine of the top 10 cable news programs belong to Fox News. [HP]
• The winners of the 2008 Peabody Awards were announced today. [AP]
• Wanda Sykes is getting her own talk show. [B&C]
• Video from Bill O'Reilly's chat with David Letterman last night. [MM]
• Guiding Light is done. The final episode airs Sept. 18. [THR]