Defying expectations and early polling, the Conservatives are on track to take a majority in British Parliament with David Cameron securing a second term as prime minister.

Tomorrow, the citizenry of the United Kingdom will cast their votes in a general election. If you’re an American, you may have been too busy tenderly rubbing your genitals on a gun to have read much about this. Who’s fighting to lead this grey and unpleasant land onward into its inevitable irrelevancy? And how do we even do elections without an electoral college? Allow me, a Proper Brit, to get you up to speed.

The British press like to make terrible jokes about a potential gay relationship between new Prime Minister David Cameron and his coalition partner, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. This picture placement, in The Namibian newspaper, will not help. [Greg Mitchell]

Conservative David Cameron is England's new prime minister. But he had to form a coalition government, with Liberal Democrat Nick Clegg serving as deputy Prime Minister. This means Clegg and Cameron are gay together, like in Brokeback Mountain!

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown says he'll step down as leader of the Labour Party, meaning his leadership of the British government is also likely over. His party will build a "progressive coalition government" with Nick Clegg's Liberal Democrats. [NYT]

Well, Great Britain ("America 1.0") finally held its election last night, and it looks like they'll wind up with a hung Parliament, which means Thomas Jane will be made Prime Minister. Just kidding! But seriously, who won?

What did our cousins in Britain do last night while eating their nightly meal of fish and chips? They watched the final pre-election debate between the leaders of the three major parties, of course! And guess who won?

Until last Thursday, most Britons had no idea what Nick Clegg, the leader of the UK's third-largest party, even looked like. Now, he's first or second in all national opinion polls. What's going on here?

Huzzah! America's Deadbeat Older Brother, the United Kingdom, is holding an election for Best Wizard! Or Prime Minister, or something. Who are the "Party Leaders" who might lead the UK? Is one of them Ringo? We know who Ringo is.