Fans drinking vodka sodas instead of Monster tallboys. Matching suits and mirror-encrusted guitars. A funky man who addresses adult humans as "children," like he thinks he's Prince or something. Vocoders, syncopation, silly glasses. This is the deeply strange universe presented in Nickelback's new video, and fans are not happy about it.

Sarah Palin has an outdoorsy show! And as sure as a truck isn't a truck until it has a pair of plastic nuts hanging from the trailer hitch, now that outdoorsy show is a real show, because it has a real theme song, from real patriotic crooners with a history of puke-rock.

Erik von Markovik, also known as Mystery, is "famous" in the seduction community for his skills in picking up women. These practitioners of seduction, often called pickup artists, pride themselves on their ability to bag women using such cool tricks as "peacocking" (dressing like an asshole) and "kino" (touching women without their permission). But now there's a new term to add to the pickup artist glossary: Nickelbacking.

Clarification: The government shutdown did not make Nickelback more popular than Congress. (That poll is from January 8, 2013.) It did, however, help make Congress less liked than dog doo-doo. Very important distinction.

Nickelback and Instagram are two things that are interminably ripe for mockery, so it stands to reason that marrying them in some way — like, say, by remixing the unholy earworm "Photograph" into a spoof song called "Look At This Instagram" — would yield a truly potent piece of satirical synergy.

Canadians are supposed to all be super nice. That's what people say when you don't want to go on vacation to Montreal, "but Canadians! They're so nice!" Local obsession and New York 1 Pat Kiernan is the perfect example of a nice Canadian guy. His Norse-like features make him simply lovable and he's funny, but not too funny.

Remember Creed? The band that plays second fiddle to Nickelback in music acts people love to hate? Well, the group's lead singer Scott Stapp made a highly anticipated appearance on Fox & Friends this morning to reveal his choice for America's next president, and — surprise — it's not Obama.

Mike Konkoleski, a 10th grade math teacher at Eric Solorio Academy High School, was identified as the man behind the audacious assault on Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel's character in the form of a protest sign declaring Emanuel a fan of Nickelback.

There's no telling how long the Chicago Teachers Union strike — the first strike of its kind in the city in a quarter-century — will last, but, as this photo clearly shows, the protests have already taken a turn for the dirty.

Avril Lavigne is engaged to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger, who is 10 years older and also terrible.

The new Nickelback video for "Trying Not to Love You" is out and it's just terrible.

An upstate New York man had to be rescued by firefighters after falling 40-feet down a gorge while attempting to sneak inside the Saratoga Performing Arts Center to see Nickelback in concert.

Concert previews in local papers generally consist of boilerplate platitudes and matter-of-fact specifics about the show in question.

The resilient, rough chuckles-enduring people of Detroit put up with dog poop air, crime-ring moms, crime-ring stray dogs, fake Koch evictions, and 1,001 other ills. But they refuse to sit through a Nickelback half-time show during this Thanksgiving's Lions-Packers game. Uninspired Canadian crap rock is where they draw the line.