If you've never heard of Nilay Patel then here's what you need to know: He runs The Verge, a large, successful tech website where he last week posted a nearly 7,000-word review of the Apple Watch (for which he also shaved his forearm, for the video portion). You'd think he'd be a pretty secure man. But last night, he became publicly upset because other adults were laughing at his jewelry.

NYU took free courseware from PaidContent's founder; your outfit freaked out Caroline McCarthy; and Emily Brill called on Google to live out loud, like her. The Twitterati eyed their circumstances warily.

A LOLcat mogul made a perhaps jokey offer to become Ruth Reichl's boss; Diablo Cody's baby craving became overpowering and Joy Behar made a David Letterman zinger. The Twitterati were all about wanting what you can't have.