A student in Portsmouth, England named George Neal recently awoke to a living nightmare: 20,000 bees covering his Nissan Micra, which was parked outside of his home.
Oh good, another thing to fill our nightmares! A rare "goblin shark" was caught by Georgia fisherman Captain Carl Moore about 10 miles off the coast of Key West in April. The last recorded sighting of this species of deep-sea nightmare shark was in 2000.
Last week, a California judge ruled that a school district could teach yoga, despite objections from parents that it amounted to promoting an "Eastern religion." Now, one provocative columnist raises an even more alarming yoga issue: godless Western atheists are sullying yoga's holiness, by doing it (yoga).
Economics is a field in which the general public will often give deference to the opinions of someone with professional credentials, even when that person seems to be saying something in direct opposition to common sense. "Well, sounds crazy, but he's the expert," we say to ourselves. We assume that the expert knows something we don't. Sometimes, he does. Other times, the expert is just a very wrong person with a very impressive job title.
The Washington Post bills Ann Hornaday's essay on movies today ("I don't know where this national discussion will wind up," is her unproductive conclusion) on the front page of its website like so: "Have audiences had enough of guns, violence and blood at the movies? After the Newtown tragedy, will screen violence still be considered entertainment?"
Celebukids like Rich Hil are killing hip hop. Let's just say that up front, as a way of framing our overall sense of glee that there is a big story about Rich Hil—son of Tommy Hilfiger—in today's New York Observer. Does he invite us to fellate him? But of course.
Do not make 9/11-themed ads. How many times must it be said? At least one more, apparently. (And this one's French! Bring back Freedom Fries, argh!) [Copyranter]
Grizzled CNN war correspondent Michael Ware just got done spending seven years in Iraq. Soon he'll go to rugged-est Afghanistan. But for now, he's living in... Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Quick, what's the joke?
What to call the Nigerian joint venture with Russia's Gazprom, hmmm? Hmm. "Nigaz." That's an even worse faux pas than Gazprom's Ukrainian joint venture, "VladimirPutinIsAnEvilFucker." [Post your own joint ventures in the comments!]
A real thing someone wrote: "Strength Training: Could It Have Saved MJ?" From a Demerol overdose? Not likely, crazy fitness blogger. Not even Lou Ferrigno could get Michael Jackson to lift weights! Not even Super Squats could have saved him.
Yes, Quizno's Submarine Sandwich Shoppe is run by oven-lusting sex pervs, but guess what, Quizno's: you have crossed the line by allowing 2 Girls, 1 Cup to be associated with your sandwiches. Think, you fools.
LA Times media columnist Tim Rutten castigated the sports journalists of America over the weekend for not covering "the transformation of baseball clubhouses into the plush equivalent of crack houses." Then he went on to recount a blind item about a "very veteran National Hockey League defenseman," who told him decades ago that "If I were a racehorse, they'd never let me on the track." Well, that's the first time that quote appears on Nexis, so we're gonna assume that either Mr. Rutten was writing for the Podunk Weekly or that he also turned a blind eye to sports doping. [LAT]
