Yesterday's Daily News item about the firing of Jay Z and Beyoncé's bodyguard, Norman Oosterbroek, claimed that the 6'5", 280-pound "Dutch giant" was fired after being found "using the family's passports in a lewd act." But it's even worse than you might imagine.

The New York Daily News published a bananas story Wednesday exposing the bizarre circumstances surrounding Jay Z and Beyoncé’s abrupt dismissal of their 6'5", 280 lbs. head of security, Norman Oosterbroek: He was fired after the couple allegedly saw photographic and video evidence of him “using the family’s passports in a lewd act." (The couple also discovered he had hired a prostitute while on duty for them in Las Vegas, which is crazy because it is somehow the LEAST interesting aspect of the story.)