Magnetic north is shifting! The place all compasses point to is moving from "near Canada toward Russia" at a rate of 40 miles a year, "about a one-degree difference in compass direction every five years." This is, of course, a massive pain in the ass for airports, pilots, boaters, and, apparently, turtles, who rely on magnetic north to migrate between Africa and South America. We blame postmodernism and the loss of external truth, and also, the constant movement of the earth's molten iron core. [Sun-Sentinel via Daily Intel]

After being snubbed by Santa at the mall, Stewie decides he's going murder Santa at the North Pole. Upon reaching their destination, Brian and Stewie learn that the world's greed and increasing demands are literally killing Santa and his elves.