National security wonks this week are wondering: Which U.S. spooks in Northern Virginia put out a classified ad seeking a chef with a Top Secret security clearance? Two things are known: The hiring agency runs the CIA's cafeteria, and CIA workers don't think much of their cafeteria.

Do you have hot skills doing "detailed social media research and analysis" and "on-the-ground native research and analysis"? Do you like foreign travel? Maybe you're the secret military contractor Uncle Sam needs to mine Twitter and Facebook to "identify violent extremist influences."

It's no secret that it's hard out here for a pimp; pimps of all ages, colors, and creeds are looking for work, any work, any time, any place they can get it.

Both landing a job and finding a way to fulfill sexual fantasies can be difficult things to do. Sadly, after writing a bomb threat on the back of his restaurant job application, a man in Nebraska is no closer to achieving either goal.

Do you ever watch Downton Abbey and think "That's the life for me," only, for some reason, you are referring to the miserable lives of the drab little servants rather than the opulent, ennui-filled ones of the well-heeled Crawleys?