The group of nuns dead set on preventing Katy Perry from moving into their former convent—“for what should be obvious reasons coming from Catholic nuns”—say the sale has been marred by lies and morphine-influenced affidvaits.

According to The Washington Post, a former convent in Los Feliz, California has become the subject of a heated legal battle after two elderly nuns sold the property in an attempt to stop singer Katy Perry from buying it.

Three Italian nuns were killed in their Burundi convent on Sunday, according to reports from the Associated Press and the BBC. Police have detained two suspects in the crime, and the Catholic diocese of Parma, Italy said in a statement that the deaths are "the tragic outcome of an armed robbery by a mentally unbalanced person."

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, unless thy neighbor is a titty bar. At least, that's what the Lord has told the Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo in Chicago, who are suing the strip club that moved in next door to them.

Sicilian nun and part-time Alicia Keys Sister Cristina Scuccia blew away the judges on Italy's The Voice with a powerful rendition of Keys's hit "No One." And, because judges on the show vote without looking at the singer, we get to watch their faces as they turn around and see her dressed in a full habit.

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor late Tuesday temporarily blocked the Obama administration's enforcement of the Affordable Care Act's contraceptive coverage requirements for a small group of Catholic nuns. The government has until Friday to file a response in the case.

Republican New York mayoral nominee Joe Lhota has brought a new, urgent issue to the fore in the race to be the next chief executive of the city: Where do the candidates stand on the Nicaraguan civil war of the 1980s?

Last night's American Horror Story went where even 1984's notorious, depraved and once-protested Santa slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night wouldn't: It featured a man in a Santa costume assaulting a nun, punching and whipping her in the ultimate S&M roleplay of secular and religious reasons for the season. The full scene, in which Deadwood's Ian McShane plays a maniac exacting his revenge to Jessica Lange's Sister Jude for keeping him in solitary confinement, is above. Usually American Horror Story, which is so fucking great and trashy this season, merely goes over the top: here it goes over the top and through the chimney.

This weekend a pair of bank robbers in the Chicago area used nun masks to disguise themselves, the same ones that Ben Affleck and his crew wore to rob banks in the 2010 movie The Town.

There was quite a show at the Vatican today, as a troupe of male acrobats ripped off their shirts and performed for the Pope. The nuns, meanwhile, "cheered enthusiastically and even snapped photos of the bare-chested men." Hilarious footage below.

That nun you gave money to in Little Italy the other day? Turns out, she's not a nun. And not only is she not a nun, she's raising money for a notorious cultish church founded by a rapist and murderer.

Two Ugandan nuns, Sisters Nanteza and Rita, were arrested this week for growing weed on the grounds of their convent, which they told police was used for farm animals. Natenza attacked the officers for entering the convent without her permission.