New York City Mayor-for-life Michael Bloomberg is bringing his Midas touch to the ailing media industry! In the form of a year-long study sponsored by the city. It's not that Bloomberg, who got rich running his own quasi-media company, has a soft spot for newsprint; it's that there are 160,000 media jobs in NYC, according to the Observer, and it would be beneficial for the municipal tax base not to allow them to crumble away in the face of a changing economy. The question is, can the city actually do anything about it?

Back in my day, weed was bought from shady characters standing on the corner, or at a weed spot where shady characters gathered. There was none of this ordering on the phone and having some aspiring male model type roll up to your front door on his bike to deliver your quarter ounce. That's that bullshit. Just another sign of dwindling grittiness, like getting our tattoos in malls. So it's no surprise that our city's weed dealers have morphed from streetwise hustlers posted up in the shadows to fancy-free longhairs who give interviews about their business to the Observer under their real names: Stefan Fitzgerald is a bike delivery guy for a large weed operation who was only too happy to bitch to the Observer about his boss:

Click to viewBoomp3.com A small skirmish broke out between Tom Cruise and daughter Suri Cruise on the streets of Manhattan over the weekend. Cruise insisted that the twosome go across the street to the Fresh & Tootie Fruity, nature’s candy store, whereas Suri insisted that they visit Chocolate EXXXXplosion!—the city’s most delicious and explosive ice cream parlor. Said Suri: "Remember when we watched Lions For Lambs and I didn’t complain or sigh or groan? Well, consider this the payback." [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Anonymous subway ad vandal Poster Boy hasn't let his newfound fame go to his head. (Maybe he has? We don't know the guy personally). He's still traipsing around subway platforms with an X-acto knife and a tube of glue, busily remixing posters while slack-jawed commuters stand by unaware, presumably. After the jump are five of his newest works—I have to admit that the "FART" one is the best of all:

Just this week, I saw an NYC subway train plastered with ads on the outside of the cars for the first time, up close. And you know what? It's not that bad! Kind of new and exciting and eye-catching, like graffiti used to be, except less so. That sentiment will wear off within a week or so, and the ads will recede into the category of tiring visual assaults on our collective serenity. Too bad, because more and more and more are on the way, everywhere!: What else could they possibly sell for ad space on subways? Well, how many flat surfaces are there? —Panels in trains. —Billboards in stations. —Total wraps of the exteriors of subway cars —Stairs. —Turnstile structures. —Turnstile arms. —"Digital screens inside stations." —Digital projection ads on interior station walls. —"A large display, almost the size of a movie screen, mounted above a passageway by the 7 train in Times Square." —L.E.D. displays on the interior walls of subway tunnels that make the "windows light up as if there were a television screen outside the window." Commuters willing to sell forehead ad space, please contact the MTA. [NYT]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Making her way to work, Katie Holmes was questioned by a group of local children if Holmes’ daughter, Suri, was available that afternoon. Holmes said that her daughter was off cruising the various solar systems in a brand new shiny space ship. The children told Holmes that she didn’t have to lie about her daughter taking a nap. Holmes nervously laughed for a moment and said, “Yeah, right. She’s taking a nap. She’s just probably dreaming about adventures in a galaxy not that far away or electric sheep.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Are politicians unscrupulous, money-hungry backslappers who would treat even the worst dictator like a visiting dignitary if they thought it might land them a nice photo-op and some municipal donations that they could tout in their campaign literature? Yes, according to a mischievous prank. Islom Karimov is the "President" of Uzbekistan, by virtue of vote fraud, repression, "disappearing" of dissidents, and other fun tactics. So Cityfile posed as an Uzbekistani official to see how many New York politicians would be willing to set up a meeting with Karimov. A lot, it turns out!

If NYC residents could hope for anything good to come out of this economic crisis, it would be this: the rollback of gentrification. The Observer is already writing trend stories on it, whether it happens or not! Are you worried about whether your current neighborhood will remain safe for yuppies once the economy tanks? Click through for our citywide, neighborhood-specific map showing the fate of post-recession NYC; you may not be pleased, hipsters: [The key: Purplish-pink for traditional strongholds of the rich that will remain unscathed. Red for core neighborhoods that are probably too gentrified now to roll back significantly. Pink for marginal hoods, where a recession could send gentrifiers fleeing. And grey for wilderness neighborhoods, where yuppies would fear to tread after The Poors and other non-glamorous types take them back for good.]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Popular movie star Lindsay Lohan was all smiles as she made her way into a Diesel Party in New York City over the weekend. When asked why she was so excited, Lohan admitted that she couldn’t believe she was attending the event with her personal style icon, Cory Kennedy. Kennedy mumbled something about being equally excited about hanging out with the beaming Lohan. Lohan hoped that the mutual apperance together would lead to bigger and better things such as a stock market upswing and Kennedy’s endorsement of Lohan’s leggings line. Lohan said, “It means a lot to get Cory’s endorsement on a product and hopefully, at the end of the night, she’ll sign off.” [Photo Credit: Flynet] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Megawatt movie star Naomi Watts made a quick stop at a Manhattan area Container Store to help contain and protect her developing baby bump from prying eyes, gazers, stares, and various lookie loos. Watts felt that she could have worn an outfit that may hid her bump better, but the weather was just too nice. Watts said, “I just couldn’t hid my bump on such a beautiful autumn day like today.” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Midway through a matinee of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, mother-daughter duo Katie Holmes and Suri sent Tom Cruise out for a refill on snacks and sodas. As soon as Cruise left the theater, Suri leaned over to her mother and whispered, “If we ever wanted to run away, now would be the time. We got maybe five minutes before he gets back. Are you with me?” Holmes looked over her shoulder and eyed the door. Nobody was coming. Holmes stared into the eyes of her daughter and wondered if they could pull it off. Before she made her mad dash for freedom, Suri left behind an origami unicorn crafted out of a movie ticket stub. [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Semi-anonymous street art star and obsession of ours Banksy is opening his first official show in New York. Huzzah! And man I gotta tell you, it's weird. "Bizarre animatronic displays packed in a tiny downtown storefront" weird. All those rat murals he put up recently were just a teaser for his new, strange hobby. After the jump, check out two videos of his odd show in action—and, more tipster photos of a mysterious dude who could conceivably be Banksy!

Oh nuts. Technology is ruining NYC. You see, according to the Sunday Times, no one will get lost in the city and discover awesome new "foreign" neighborhoods by accident anymore because kids have GPS on their cellphones and cabs have interactive touch-screens and the magic is gone, and that is really, really meaningful... For instance, never again will you get some of this crazy only-in-New-York-ness: "You go for a few blocks, unsure, your senses on the alert. In this fog of momentary disorientation, you are nonetheless aware of various clues: a whiff of halal spices, both foreign and familiar; a heated conversation in Polish in your left ear; a taxi driver cursing in Caribbean Spanish in your right." Wait. We'll all speak one language? It's Babylon! God will smite us!

Click to viewBoomp3.com Leaving his Manhattan apartment, Tom Cruise claimed that his edgy and stylized haircut was not the result of months of focus group testing, but rather the result of sleeping on the wrong side of the bed last night. Cruise said, “The MGM research department did not meet with my hair squad to create a haircut to maintain popular internet buzz amongst gamers and bloggers. It’s windy and a bit cold this afternoon.” Cruise also mentioned that he might have used a bit too much hair gel before leaving his apartment. Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click through for two new big photos of the almost-completed Banksy rat mural at Howard and Broadway in downtown NYC. One tipster says "They have traced out letters above and below the platform that will soon say 'let them eat crack'!" Lovely.

An updated photo of Banksy's rat mural-in-progress has been added to our earlier post.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Ms. Betty Suarez herself AKA America Ferrera continued to haunt and torment her Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants co-star Blake Lively during a Gossip Girl shoot in Times Square on Tuesday morning. Lively thought that Ferrera’s gigantic eyes were rolling each time she spoke and was unable to concentrate on the scene. A crafty collective of interns and production assistants concocted an elaborate stack of apple boxes, c-stands and light reflector boards to block the nerve-racking billboard. [Photo Credit: Splash Pic] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

A tipster this morning sends a photo of what appears to be another mural by street art god Banksy going up in SoHo, NYC—notice that it uses the same attractive rat motif as his other NYC mural, which went up last weekend. The actual painting work has been subcontracted, obvs. We know you're in town, Banksy. We know what you look like! Seriously, email us with Banksy info, we'd like to buy him a drink. Click through for a larger pic of the rat art in action:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Well-liked movie star Tom Cruise took on the difficult task of escorting the greatest actress in the history of Broadway, Katie Holmes, out for dinner in New York City the other night. Cruise made sure that his beloved significant other wore an outfit similar to his, so they would not get lost in the blinding darkness of 42nd street. Cruise felt the matching shiny suits would help reflect the light in the night as the twosome slowly moved into their awaiting SUV. Cruise said, “I would be so lost if I ever lost my beloved in the big city. That’s why I have to keep such a tight hold of her.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Hip hop music was formally unveiled on an August night in 1973, when DJ Kool Herc started cutting two identical records back and forth to keep the freshest part playing, making the world's first break beat. It was only a matter of a few short years until the "up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie," and another few years to "Sucker MCs call me sire," and then things really started rolling, and within a decade there was Puffy rapping about money while dressed in money driving a money car made of money. And who lost out? Kool Herc himself. The man is the walking embodiment of hip hop's shunning of its quasi-spiritual roots: