A third NYPD officer has been arrested for his role in last month's heist of a New Jersey perfume factory. Or, as we prefer to call it, "The Worst Fucking Heist Ever." Don't rogue cops even watch movies?

In an effort to cut down on roid-raging officers, the NYPD has banned not only illegal steroids, but also bodybuilding supplements like Hydroxycut and "Arom-X." What will the NYPD ban next, Super Tren XTreme and all the other great products by ROCKHARD FORMULATIONS? Oh crap they're banned too!

Police Commissioner Ray Kelly is the most popular man in town, according to a recent poll. Kelly's approval rating is an impressive 70%—which is hilarious, because there's more news of the NYPD's corruption every day.

A jury acquitted the New York cops accused of sodomizing Michael Mineo with a police baton, despite the fact that they looked pretty damn guilty. For those in danger of future NYPD abuse, some tips to ensure you get justice.

The New York police officer accused of sodomizing a man he stopped and searched in the subway was acquitted last night. "If you want to commit a murder, join the NYPD," the man, Michael Mineo, told the AP, referring to previous murder acquittals. Later he added. "Who's going to police the police?"

NYPD "stop-and-frisk" breakdown, 2009: 55% black, 32% Hispanic, 10% white, 3% Asian. Great work, guys.

Disgraced former NYPD commissioner Bernie Kerik is about to be sentenced. Prosecutors are asking for a stiff penalty, since he "became a wealthy man by shamelessly exploiting the most horrific civilian tragedy in this nation's history." So...Giuliani's next? [NYT]

After the weekend's blindingly obvious NYT scoop that the police department fudges the crime stats for its own benefit (they showed that on the The Wire like years ago, duh), the question remains: What do New Yorkers "at churches, businesses, community meetings and along the sidewalks on a bitingly cold Sunday morning" think about all this? The paper sent lowly metro reporter and publisher-to-be A "to the" G Sulzberger Jr. to find out, mostly because it was a good excuse to send the kid out on a "bitingly cold Sunday morning." Stay strong, AG. You'll be able to fire all those editors before long.
[NYT]

New York's been seen as a metropolis of cleanliness and progress for the last decade, as superhero crimefighting mayors have cleaned up our city to sparkle against the lawless lands of elsewhere. Turns out we were kinda lying. Whoops!

A Brooklyn transit cop testified that a fellow cop did in fact shove a baton into into the butt of police-brutalitied New Yorker Michael Mineo. Which—Occam's razor—means the cops are totally guilty. Payday TK, bro.

Michael Mineo is a 25 year-old tattooed former gangbanger who says the NYPD sodomized him with a nightstick. The NYT's account: Chilling and poignant. The Daily News' account: Matter-of-fact. The Post: 'Victim,' in scare quotes. Choose your own adventure!

Though the plan has been scuttled, Mayor Bloomberg was apparently going to send some detectives from the NYPD Gang Unit down to his weekend home, to help the local police out. (BTW, his weekend home is his mansion in Bermuda.)

Members of the NYPD's Gang Unit will be heading to Bermuda to help its police force solve several gang-related shootings that have "rocked the island" recently. Did the fact that Mayor Bloomberg happens to have a lovely weekend home in Bermuda (above) factor into the decision? It certainly seems that way. Bermuda's minister of public safety tells a local paper that Bloomberg contacted the Premier of Bermuda personally to offer up the NYPD's assistance: "He rang the Premier, as a resident of Bermuda and someone who has a keen interest in the safety of Bermuda. He is a friend. He said, 'We probably can help. Get your Commissioner to talk to the head of our Gang Unit.'" Too bad Bloomberg never picked up a castle in Darfur. All that genocide would have been over in no time! [Village Voice, Bermuda Sun]

New York said goodbye to 2009 and kicked off the decade with a rough 48 hours that included a murder suicide, a crotch stabbing, and a teenage knife fight.

We can't imagine you were thinking about spending New Year's Eve in the middle of Times Square shivering with a million or so other people. But if you were contemplating the idea, you'll be pleased to hear that the NYPD is beefing up security for the big event and will have "radiation and biological detection devices" on hand, "decontamination facilities" at the ready, and sniper teams in position. (All you need to bring is a hat and a flask of whiskey hidden in your pants, and you'll be good to go!) Oh, and if you notice anything suspicious, don't hesitate to take Mayor Bloomberg's advice: "If you see anything, they'll be plenty of police officers to talk to. Walk up and say, 'Hey, I may be wrong, but that guy looks nefarious.'" (Just be prepared to explain to the cop what "nefarious" means, of course.) [Fox5]

NYPD vows to test DUI suspects faster, unless they have a Police Benevolent Association card.

Earlier this week, officers from the NYPD descended on Canal Street and shut down more than two dozen businesses that were selling fake handbags, wallets, and watches. But maybe the normally clever counterfeiters in the area should have seen it coming?

Most people who show up at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade have to press up against thousands of other people to catch a glimpse of the spectacle; some have been known to turn up before sunrise to snag a choice spot. But some lucky folks got really lucky this year. Who, you ask? People like Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein and hedge fund mogul Dan Loeb, that's who.

[Heidi Klum makes a cop's day by mounting his steed and riding it all over Times Square during a photo op for a Victoria's Secret campaign in Midtown today. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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