Taylor Swift Mashes Four Years of Rage Into Delicious Fruit Jam
Remember four years ago when something happened to photogenic millionaire Taylor Swift while she was accepting a fake award at a ceremony held by a channel that exists to market cell phones to teenagers? Taylor Swift remembers too. It's the first thing she thinks about when she rolls out of bed and the last thing she pictures before she falls asleep. Her life is an endless carousel of misery, circling 'round and 'round that single moment. Every day she wakes up and discovers it is September 14, 2009; every day is the day after Kanye West's bizarre outburst ensured that the 2009 VMAs would forever be remembered as one of Taylor Swift's Top Four Worst VMAs Ever.
Last month, Taylor Swift tweeted a reference to the Unforgivable, Inescapable VMA Incident (while asking people to vote for her to win a VMA) and everyone got it, which is not the same thing as everyone enjoying it.
Two VMA nominations!! If you vote and get us one, I promise to keep a firmer grip on the mic this time ;) http://t.co/nK9rhV95RP
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) July 17, 2013
This past Monday, her close friend, musician Ed Sheeran, Instagrammed a photo of homemade jam she had jarred for him. The label read:
"Yo Ed - I'm really
happy 4 you and
I'm gonna let
u finish but This
is The best
JAM OF ALL
TIME. - T"
Was Taylor Swift interrupting another jam that Ed Sheeran was...experiencing? Or was she merely shoehorning a reference from 2009 into casual conversation, meticulously preserving four years of hate, embarrassment, and obsession like so many boysenberries in a jelly of their own liquids (+ sugar + 1/4 c of lemon juice)? Unclear.
Remember that time that something happened to Taylor Swift?
[Image via Instagram/Ed Sheeran]