Ted Cruz, We're Sorry, Please Come Back
According to my good friend Ted, who I only mocked out of love and friendship and Ted I’m sorry, we might not actually have to say goodbye just yet. Because Ted’s “open” to coming back.
Just like Glenn Beck, I am not yet ready to accept the fact that noted skin-haver Ted Cruz is really, truly gone for good. But thankfully, our beloved assassin scion and eater of soup granted the “Cruz Crew” a sliver of hope on Beck’s radio show earlier this morning. After co-host Pat Gray asked whether a win in Nebraska might coax him back onto the trail, Cruz responded:
My assumption is that that will not happen. But listen, let’s be very clear, if there is a path to victory, we launched this campaign intending to win; the reason we suspended the race last week is with Indiana’s loss, I didn’t see a viable path to victory. If that changes, we will certainly respond accordingly.
In his downtime, Cruz has been hard at work trying to fill the party with “strong conservative voices,” but Ted—we need you back on the trail. I need you back on the trail. I know we’ve had our differences in the past, so if you won’t do it for me, do it for Carly.
And by god, if nothing else, do it for Jeb.
We miss you, Ted. Come back home.