The Long and Short of It: 2014's Best, Biggest, and Brightest Dicks

The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that affirmative moment in penile favoritism, the year of the booty had found its companion in dicks, and the 365 days ahead were long and hard.

Here at Gawker.com, we featured dickplay, dick speculation, dick fame, dick pain, dick pics, and dick ephemera short, girthy, and long, for better or for worse, from January 1st until December 30th. Not caught up? Here's what you missed.

What Were Celebrity Dicks Up To?

Many a celebrity package became primetime pageviews for our website and others in 2014. Like each year since the Big Bang, the gossip-obsessed have wanted to know what our celeb gods have going on below the belt in preparation for the possibility that one or many of us would be asked to fuck it. Would these celebrity dicks even be worth slamming if we, the plebes, could get into the underoos? In a year of covering celebrity dick tales, our main contenders for worthiness of fucking are Jared Leto and (to my surprise) Ben Affleck. Well done, gents.

The Ecstasy ;)

The Agony :(

Where Did You Put Your Dicks This Year?

Hardly a day went by in 2014 when men did not think of putting their dicks into something. Why stop at human orifices when so much pleasure could be derived from other holes and non-holes, the men thought. Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, many of our peniled friends did not make it out of 2014 without being caught fucking stuff that should not be fucked. Where will you be stuffing it next year? Here's some inspiration:

In Food

In Animals

In Your Palm

on a subway train

In Front of the Public

Miscellany

in a robot

Who, In Return, Fucked Up Your Dicks?

Listen, after all this, you deserved it.

Your Friends :(

fed your dick to the dog

Yourselves :(

Were These Dicks or What?

2014 was the year that we debuted the latest Gawker hit column "Is This a Dick or What?" wherein we analyzed photos sent by tipsters far and away looking for alleged dicks, mostly out of frame or obscured in some manner. The conclusions we came to this year were polarizing but have been settled below for posterity:

Yes

No

Who Did You Send Your Dick Pics To?

Dick pics must be stopped. Whether you believe your girl likes them, or you're sending them with reckless abandon to any numeric combination you can brainstorm on your cell phone while getting yourself ample and ready, no one wants to be startled like that. Did that stop these dick owners from dialing up and sending some juicy images over? No. Would they do it again? Probably.