The World Will Not Be Saved By Kangaroo Farts
Sad news: researchers have hit a dead end in the study of how kangaroo farts can unlock the solution to global warming.
Kangaroo farts, you see, produce less methane—a greenhouse gas—than other animal farts. Cow farts. Horse farts. Sheep farts. Don’t even get me started on hippo farts. Like a goddamn methane derecho.
The thinking, says this Guardian report, was that the gut microorganisms found in kangaroos could be transplanted into livestock, thereby de-methane-ing many millions and billions of animal farts per year.
Alas.
“We think that the methane is low because of the way food moves through the kangaroo stomach, and not because of a unique gut fauna,” study author Dr Adam Munn said.
The study sounds like fun: a group of red and western grey kangaroos were kept in “comfy, sealed chambers,” where they could rip ass to their hearts’ content, under the careful observation of fart scientists.
This is no laughing matter!
In the year to March 2015, agriculture accounted for 15% of Australia’s greenhouse gas emissions. The agricultural sector is the nation’s dominant source for methane.
If only kangaroos could share their earth-friendly fart secrets with the livestock of Australia! The next frontier in this important research will be determining “the contribution various species make to greenhouse gas emissions” via their farts.
