Two Sad Tales of Life As a Forgotten Celebrity
What happens when you were was famous but are no longer famous? Can you still hang out with your old friends who still happen to be famous—much more famous than you are now? Here are two stories that suggest: no!
“But when we are apart I feel it, too”
Here is a sentence that is entirely true and which pertains to our collective lived reality: Lance Bass is now a panelist on the Meredith Viera program. What did they talk about on today’s show? I’m going to be honest: I couldn’t really tell you. That said, one subject was Bass’ old bandmate Justin Timberlake, who Bass apparently ran into at Rockefeller Center the day before.
“You had a celebrity sighting right here at 30 Rock yesterday. Tell us about it,” Viera says icily, with that exact tone of faux-surprise you use when you want to goad someone into reciting a story for the tenth time. “Well I have to come all the way to NBC just to see my friends,” Bass replies, letting a whole bottle of bitch spill all over the table. “Justin was in the building. He was shooting Fallon or Seth Meyers.” Here, Lance Bass is pretending to be so ignorant of Justin Timberlake’s life that he’s acting like Timberlake would actually appear on Seth Meyers’ show, as if Lance didn’t take a job on the Meredith Viera program knowing that one day Justin Timberlake would show up at Lance’s workplace specifically to visit Jimmy Fallon, who Timberlake is so good of friends with that they make plans to go watch tennis together. “Oh, what show was Justin doing? Steve Harvey was it? Steve Wilkos shoots in this building, right?” Lance, friend, you’re fooling nobody.
The chat continues. “Where’s the shirt you were wearing yesterday?” asks Lillian Vazquez, who is another person on the Meredith Viera program. “Would you like to borrow the shirt?” Bass responds to her. Then he turns to the crowd: “He smells so good, ladies.” Lance makes a face implying that he could just wretch over the fact that anyone would care about how Justin Timberlake smells.
Meredith then cuts right to the bone: “Have you seen him since he became a dad? Is this the first time?” This is a nice way of asking if Lance Bass is in any way important in Justin Timberlake’s life. The answer? Well...
No, this is my first time since he became a dad, it’s been five months and it’s so amazing to see a friend go through this because you know I grew up with him since he was 14-years-old but to see this amazing dad now and all he wants to talk about is the kid.
“So he’s changed?” asks Meredith, which is a funny question considering Lance Bass had just established that he hadn’t seen Justin Timberlake in five months before they ran into each other at an office building. Lance quickly changes the subject, noting that he would love to be a father, too. Then he talks about how in two years scientists say eggs will be able to be created from male skin cells. There’s a lot going on in Lance Bass’ life, is what I’m saying, very little of which involves Justin Timberlake.
After the interview concluded, a lowly employee of the Meredith Viera program was tasked with putting a clip of the interview on YouTube. That person titled the video, “Lance Bass Ran Into Justin Timberlake!” Nobody can believe that Lance Bass happened to cross paths with Justin Timberlake.
“So no one told you life was gonna be this way”
The second story is about a group of... friends. Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green) got married in August in a secret ceremony at her home in Los Angeles. How secret was it? Well, some people were there. Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani) was there. Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing) was definitely there. Some other people, though, weren’t there.
One of those other people was David Schwimmer (Ross Gellar). David Schwimmer was not at Jennifer Aniston’s wedding, and he is not afraid to let it be known.
While grabbing dinner with Matt LeBlanc in Beverly Hills, a source reveals to In Touch magazine that David Schwimmer didn’t hold back when the topic of Jennifer Aniston’s Aug. 5 wedding to Justin Theroux was brought up.
“Someone nearby overheard them talking about how they weren’t invited. David was really angry,” a source says. “He said he couldn’t believe he’d been snubbed, because he was an important person in Jen’s life for 10 years.”
Now, it’s important to remember that Matt LeBlanc was at the wedding, so it’s unclear who InTouch’s source is referring to as “they,” or why the source suddenly switches back to the pronoun “he.” Maybe this source has no idea what they are talking about, or maybe David Schwimmer was so mad that Matt LeBlanc, who was at Jennifer Aniston’s wedding, got mad on his behalf.
UPDATE (9/11) As you can see in this article on People dot com, Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry clearly did not attend Jennifer Aniston’s wedding. Why did I read this article and think they did? That’s a question for the gods. In any event, David Schwimmer was still the maddest.
Anywho, the source continues:
“[David] thought he would be the first one invited!”
David was not the first one invited. David was not invited at all.
