If there’s anything more erratic than what Donald Trump says or thinks, it’s the hues of the flesh surrounding his mouth and brain, that fluorescent, noxious stink-maker known as his face. In New Hampshire last night, the only question more compelling than “can he really win?” was “what color will his face be?”

The Trump epidermis exists in some sort of quantum state, unknowable until observed. But with the power of modern software, perhaps we can pin down part of the spectrum of oranges, reds, and whites that make up the bad man’s creamsicle mug.

Sampling this close-up from CNN’s New Hampshire broadcast reveals a rainbow in itself.

An incredible disparity

The zone around Trump’s cheeks register a hexadecimal color value of #C86E64 and #CC7066. On his upper lip, #CF907C. Bafflingly, around his eye socket, we get #DEA091, a significantly paler hue that gives him a sort of “idiot owl man” look. Trump’s forehead appears as scorched red as the side of a Dust Bowl barn, #CD685F.

Running an image of Trump’s face through an analysis tool created by software developer Lokesh Dhakar is even more illuminating:

It can be used to terrifying effect, such as on this photo from the very same moment, via Getty:

Jesus Christ, man

My god!

What’s interesting here isn’t just the sheer volume of unique colors found on this grotesque political biopsy, but how radically it changes from appearance to appearance. Here is Trump at his last major speech, after losing the Iowa primary to Ted Cruz, also from CNN:

Here Trump appeared with the radiance of a superfund site, rather than the desert tones from New Hampshire:

It varied greatly from network to network, as if modern camera equipment is only capable of mere interpretation, interpolation of reality, not actual representation:

We’re left to wonder, is there any such a “thing” as Donald Trump, a substrate beneath our perception?

Can a man whose cheeks register a hex value of #864232 (as above) in one state and #C86E64 in another (practically night and day for those in design) be said to even fully exist, let alone be fit for office?

What color is Donald Trump’s face?

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
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