An enigmatic tweet from the Boston Globe suggests that the paper’s Sunday edition will contain an imaginary dispatch from one year in the future, presumably meant to warn current-day readers of some misfortune waiting to happen. What’s the headline they hope to never publish?

Some ideas:

WICKED BAD NEWS: TRUMP WON

ALL PACKIE STORES TO CLOSE INDEFINITELY

HEIST GONE WRONG LEAVES ALL AFFLECKS, WAHLBERGS DEAD

STUDY SHOWS MOXIE ACTUALLY DISGUSTING
Tastes like soap, doctors say

GAWKER WAS RIGHT

JETER TALENTED, HETEROSEXUAL

BOLOCO CANCELS FREE BIRTHDAY BURRITOS

CATHOLIC CHURCH IMPLICATED IN MASSIVE PEDOPHILE COVERUP

What do you think?