In an essay for the New York Times, Edward Frame, a graduate student at the New School, writes eloquently of the ironic remove required to work as a waiter in one of New York City’s fanciest restaurants—and also bathroom sex.

Frame writes:

In a playground for the superrich, I was an overpaid chaperone wearing a bespoke suit. Gluttony was common. So was sex; more than once we had to interrupt coitus in the restroom. Once a woman asked to leave her baby at the coat check. When the maître d’ explained that dinner lasted at least three hours, she stared back at him, unfazed. “Yes, I know.” Grown men wearing Zegna and Ferragamo would sit at the bar chanting, “We are the 1 percent!”

Also:

You experience a special rush when your job is to project an aura of warmth and hospitality while maintaining an almost clinical emotional distance. It’s the thrill of the con. This pleasure in deception was suggested by another metaphor popular with upper management: lipstick on a pig. The key to fine dining, I was told by one manager, was to ensure that the guest never noticed the pig, only the lipstick. Guests wanted to believe the make-believe; they wanted to believe everything was perfect. But the moment someone noticed a minor imperfection — a smudge on the butter, a fingerprint on the fork — other imperfections would suddenly become noticeable, threatening the illusion we all worked to maintain.

And furthermore:

Next to a doorway leading into the dining room, a sign in the kitchen summed up the job in the form of a commandment: “Make it nice.” Make it nice means you hold yourself accountable to every detail. It means everything in the restaurant must appear perfect — the position of the candle votives, the part in your hair. Everything matters.

But he does not name the restaurant! Well. According to his LinkedIn profile, Frame worked at Eleven Madison Park from May 2011 to August 2012. An interview on Serious Eats with Eleven Madison Park’s pastry chef includes a photograph of a sign in the kitchen with the words “Make it nice,” which the Wall Street Journal reported in 2011 was one of the first phrases that executive chef Daniel Humm learned to say in English.

(Incidentally, the Times gave Eleven Madison Park four stars back in March.)

Anyway, wherever it is, it sounds like a very nice place to eat dinner. Excellent service!

Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.