Far be it from Gawker.com to claim to be the finest financial blog “in the markets,” but we can tell you this: your special “high flying” “IPO” stocks are getting clobbered!!!

What do you think of when I say the following three brand names to you: FitBit. GoPro. Etsy. Do you think, “Those are not real words?” If you do, you have a damn sight more sense than most of these “investors” out there today, who have sunk bazillions of dollars into these weird little companies that produce, in order, a robot bracelet, a head camera, and a yarn Ebay. Are robot bracelets, head cameras, and yarn Ebays the future of the US economy? Some idiots thought so, apparently—until now!

Here is what has happened just today: GoPro’s stock has fallen below its IPO price for the first time, and FitBit’s stock has fallen below its IPO price for the first time, and Etsy’s stock, which traded as high as $35 less than a year ago, has fallen under $8 because insiders are all selling as fast as possible on the very first day they are allowed to sell all their stock.

What do all of these stocks have in common? They were “hot IPOs” that people thought they would get rich on, and now they’re nothing but “hot garbage!” Is this an indication of cracks in our long “bull market?” Is this a preview of another bursting of our modern “tech bubble” that has made nerds younger than you very rich? Gawker.com does not make formal “market forecasts” out of an abundance of respect for econometrical uncertainty, but I can tell you this: Etsy. Basically just selling yarn. How much money did you think you would make? And you didn’t even make any crafts yourself? Come on.

Invest in good old tobacco if you want to make a dollar.

[Image: Etsy]