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Even the NY Daily News is getting in on our "shareholders as angry mob" analogy, writing that Viacom head Sumner Redstone took a "big drubbing" as "investors pounded the octogenarian media mogul." And here we thought that CBS was the only part of Viacom brutalizing the elderly.

But this Redstone abuse seems like a bonanza for Defamer, combining the best elements of "Eisner Under Fire," in which the Disney CEO adds deadly fortifications to his office to repel marauding shareholder mobs, and "Jack Valenti Says Crazy Shit," where the ancient MPAA head maniacally protects movie copyrights against ubiquitous pirates. Daily News, you got your embattled multimedia conglomerate head in my doddering, paranoid anti-piracy crusader ! Hey! You got your doddering, paranoid anti-piracy crusader in my embattled multimedia conglomerate head! Hmm...Tastes great!

We picture fossil Redstone secured in a bunker (oblivious to the unhappy investor gang trying to drill through five foot thick concrete walls), watching a Real World marathon and wondering why he's spending all of Viacom's money on writers when the dialogue is just so fucking unbelievable.