We hear that the MTV Networks cafeteria at 1515 Broadway is suffering from an employee strike. Rumors have it that cafeteria workers are forming a human chain on the seventh floor, and MTV workers are shouting "We want food!" and crossing the picket line like the over-privileged hipster idiots that they are.

Look around, Viacom cogs: do you see a giant inflatable rat outside your offices? Are you being pelted with spoiled sloppy joe meat? That means you may want to seek lunch elsewhere, unless you're too busy working on your pilot about attention-starved teenagers who want to disfigure themselves with plastic surgery to become famous. Oh right — you already did that one. Good for you.