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OK, maybe we're not responsible, but Defamer won't have Jack Valenti to kick around anymore. According to a breaking story in THR, the pirate-hunting, internet-hating MPAA chief has finally retired. As we'd recently heard, he'll be succeeded by former Clinton agriculture secretary Dan Glickman.

There are many tears being shed in Defamer HQ. We can only wish Mr. Valenti well as he puts himself out to pasture. We're also praying that Mr. Glickman ages 40 years overnight and inherits Valenti's penchant for cranky, bordering-on-senile comments at Capitol Hill hearings.