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· Rush Hour hack Brett Ratner attached to direct secret, as-yet-unwritten comedy for Sony. We hope it's a romantic comedy about an overmatched video director whose tennis-star girlfriend has thighs bigger than his waist. [Variety, sub. req'd/]
· Amish in the City momentarily lifts sort-of newtork UPN out of ratings obscurity. Ratings should really go nuts when producers introduce the kids to the big city wonders of the stripper pole and crack cocaine, both hard to come by back on the farm. [THR]

· Shar Jackson, mother to Britney Spears' stepchildren-to-be, entices reality-show cameras to follow her as she "raises" two children, pursues acting and singing careers, and makes token attempts at avoiding being knocked up a third time by background dancers. [THR]
· Spike Lee is in negotiations to direct The Night Watchman, written by noir novelist/L.A. Confidential scribe James Ellroy. Amazingly, The Night Watchman is also about Los Angeles cops. How is Lee ever going to find a racism angle with the LAPD? [THR]
· Evil Fox reality TV overlord Mike Darnell feeds America Family Time, which "take[s] every makeover show you've ever seen and roll[s] it into one." Dr. Phil's kid will host/pour gasoline on the conflagration that destroys families, their houses, and the self-respect of anyone that's caught in its satanic flames. [Variety, sub. req'd.]