NYT restaurant critic Frank Bruni confuses the shit out of us! One second, we're catching up with this week's review of the new Hamptons dining establishments (you know, so we can like, plan our weekend accordingly), and the next, we're wondering who replaced his Charmin with sandpaper. Frankly, after pertinent information such as follows, we don't really care about the breaded chicken cutlets:

Overheard at Cittanuova, an Italian restaurant in East Hampton: "I'll need it on the boat by 5:30, for five people." This was the delivery order of a man who had not even bothered to walk in the door. He simply leaned over the short brick wall that separates the front patio from the sidewalk. He cradled and stroked a Lilliputian dog: a cat in drag, really.

Did you eat the dog, Frank? We sure would have!
Fresh Fish And Taut Skin In The Hamptons [NYT]