Our Special Correspondent on Drunken Hamptonites spends a lost weekend in the Hamptons — which, we assume, is why she hasn't filed her report until today. Evidently the drinks and all that high society at the Watermill Center benefit were terribly intoxicating.

Highlights include: Kathy Hilton takes a faceplant, the dizzy daughters of a Bush brother (the one who doesn't recognize prostitutes when he sees them), and Gotham publisher Jason Binn snuggling up to David Lee Roth. The full report after the jump.

I ll be the first to admit, I m no Neel Shah. I couldn t scam my way into the Democratic National Convention only to spend my time snorting coke off of my lime green press pass and slutting myself to the members of the Black Eyed Peas.

Still, I somehow managed to weasel my way into Robert Wilson s Watermill Center benefit last weekend, which is often referred to as the Hamptons benefit of the season. An Amanda Hearst here, a Fabian Basabe there, evidently all the "Its" of "It" girl-land made it out for the big to-do.

My favorite part of the benefit was the obscene amount of falling. The entrance path proved hazardous to the boozed up socialites, who took turns plummeting to the ground. Apparently, Kathy Hilton took to her knees like her daughter did before her, and Denise Wohl and Alan Cumming fared no better. Yes, the entrance path was a bit steep, but come now. Let s get it together.

After Mrs. Hilton collected herself she was handed a glass of champagne. She took a sip, made a disgusted face, shook her head and said, Mmm mm and proceeded to place the champagne back on the tray. But the prima donna award of the evening had to go to Ashley Bush, Lauren Bush s 15-year old sister. Unfortunately, young Miss Bush takes after Laura more than Lauren Bush, and despite what she may think, her modeling career will likely be confined to the hand-and-shoe circuit. She had all the attitude, however, of your garden variety Lydia Hearst.

It turns out that Ashley didn t make a reservation for dinner and upon arrival, insisted on sitting at the junior chairs table. Word on the avenue is that the young socialite set think Ashley is pretty lame, and let s just say that her presence at the table was not appreciated. Oh well. The tween apparently got wasted off of white wine, which we think is sort of awesome.

Jason Binn was out in full force, looking like a serious frump machine with his Guy Trebay-style button down shirt sloppily half-untucked. It was a weird sight, watching him gently place one hand on David Lee Roth s shoulder (see also: NY Social Diary party pictures of August 3rd) and stare off vacantly into space as Roth mumbled sweet nothings to some young blondes.

During the dinner, I noticed a man had left the tent and was peeing in the woods. Jason!? I called out. There was no response. It may have been the three mojitos talking, but I really, really, really think it was him.