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· Maniacally suave Viacom co-president Les Moonves merges Paramount and CBS Broadcast International units. The new, streamlined entity will immediately begin work on a satellite-mounted laser beam that will melt every breast implant in California if the industry doesn't succumb to Moonves' demands. [THR]
· Disney earnings jump 21% last quarter. We fear that Michael Eisner died three months ago and his body is decomposing somewhere in Burbank, among his army of life-size Mickey dolls. [Variety, sub. req'd.]

· The red-hot Diane Keaton will produce and star in a film project for Columbia. It's a family comedy, so perhaps this will lead to the first-ever studio contract rider expressly prohibiting an actress from taking off her clothes. [THR]
· Dan Castellanetta wins Emmy for his voiceover work on The Simpsons. The Simpsons is still on? [THR]
· Michael Mann and Leonardo DiCaprio set to collaborate on Universal feature Public Enemies, depicting the crimewave of 1933-34, and how it transformed the FBI. Now word yet on who DiCaprio would play, but we're hoping J. Edgar Hoover, but that's just because an image of Leo in stiletto heels and a feather boa haunts our dreams. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Spielberg's controversial 1972 Munich Olympic project to get yet another rewrite, this time by Angels in America's Tony Kushner. Let's see if Spielberg can convince Kushner to slap one of the director's trademark "everything is all bluebirds and rainbows" happy endings on a story of the kidnapping and slaying of members of the Israeli Olympic team by Palestinian extremists. [Variety, sub. req'd.]