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· Corpulent Last Comic Standing unfunnyman Ralphie May will host a reality pilot centered around "baggin'," i.e., standing around on a street corner and snapping off "Yo Mama" jokes. We want to play! "Yo Mama so fat she wouldn't ever let this ludicrous pilot idea ever make it to series!" Eh, we're so white. [THR]
· Constantly promoted, ridiculous NBC cop drama Hawaii pulls somewhat decent ratings numbers against virtually no competition. We give it four episodes before it's yanked, and that's only because NBC will be trying to save face. Loud shirt/random gunfire enthusiasts will have it figured out by next week. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Angie Harmon—rarest of birds, an attractive, Hollywood Republican—signs on to look pretty next to the comic talents of Tea Leoni and Jim Carrey in the the remake of Fun with Dick and Jane. Judd Apatow is writing, so there's hope. [THR]
· Elizabeth Shue, whom we'd long assumed was dead or had gone native in Griffith Park, will star in the DreamWorks nursing-a-sick-horse-back-to-victory drama Dreamer. [THR]
· A routine traffic stop in Los Angeles yesterday led to the arrests of three illegal DVD burning menaces. The men were operating a replicating lab and were planning to distribute releases as recent as The Exorcist, The Bourne Supremacy, and Collateral. It's really refreshing when these traffic stops wind up nabbing pirates instead of ending in videotaped baton-play, although Jack Valenti probably would have wished for a little of both. [THR]