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As the Hamptons escapades of summer fast become distant memories, the Black Table reminds us why we should never forget the best of Eastern Long Island — your bodily functions are always treated like royalty. A Black Table reader reviews a port-a-potty fit for the richest asses of Sag Harbor:

HAMPTONS PORT-A-POTTY: ...This Port-a-Potty was clean! It had a sink and a mirror! And complimentary bug spray! They'd provided upscale hand soap and beach-motifed paper hand towels. It even had a candle! Although I'd been making fun of the Polo-shirted, shellacked-haired, Astin Martin-driving Hamptons crowd during the drive to the beach, I have to admit that this port-a-potty by the sea was one of the most pleasant surprises I've had. Sure, it reeked of pretension. But, really, that's not the worst thing to get a whiff of when you open the door to an outdoor toilet. A-

Alright, while there are about a thousand reasons I wouldn't hit the L.I.E., this toilet sounds bigger, cleaner, and nicer than my own apartment. Can you see the wheels turning?
The Black List [Black Table]