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The L.A. Weekly's Nikki Finke runs Michael Ovitz's Hollywood Trial of the Century testimony through her own factchecking meatgrinder, illustrating that the former Ur-agent has some utterly unsurprising (but hilarious in scope) deficiencies in the truth-telling department:

Whopper: Ovitz claimed he didn’t have a title at CAA until the company was 12 years old. Truth: Ovitz grabbed the title of president and responsibility of running the agency away from Roland Perkins a year after the agency was formed. And so on. I’d use up a forest of newsprint just to correct Ovitz’s testimony.

But, as an avowed Ovitz watcher (c’mon, it’s like a walking train wreck in slo-mo), I have to confess that, at this point, I’m not sure if he knows the difference between facts and falsehoods. Can someone who created his own parallel universe recognize reality anymore?

The short answer: Nope! We have it on pretty good intelligence that Ovitz had the "truth lobe" of his brain cauterized at the conclusion of his shadowy CAA coronation ritual to ensure that his business could never be slowed by the speed-bumps of reality. We'll let Finke's foot be the last inserted firmly up his posterior, at least until tomorrow:

Gone is Evil Bastard Mike, replaced by this wire-rim-wearing, unflatteringly bald Boo Radley of a man that no one sees out in public anymore. A shadow of his once most-powerful-in-Hollywood self, not to mention unemployable since 1996 when Disney’s huge severance payout made him the poster boy for corporate excess, Milquetoast Mike endures almost daily humiliation, from the unreturned calls and unsent invitations to that pesky “occupation” blank on credit-card applications.