Enigmatic restaurant newsletter She Loves NY has a special RESY index (RESY being the availability of a table for two on the same night of the call) based on previously failed attempts. What do we learn?

RESY feat. FORMER BUSY SIGNALS
nobu — 219 0500 — 1 ring, fully booked
per se — 823 9335 — press 1, 3 minute hold, fully booked
5 ninth — 929 9460 — press 2, 4 rings, 7:30
vento — 699 2400 — one ring, this is jeff, name/number?, 7:15 or 8:45

You're still not eating at Per Se. Case closed.
November 4, 2004 [SLNY]