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How can Tara Reid's publicist continue to let her talk to the NY Post? Here's some free advice for her irresponsible flack: Steal her cell phone, chain her to the bed, and tell her that newspapers no longer exist. Even lab rats eventually learn to stop pushing the lever that electrocutes them.

But if you agree to let her do an interview with us, we promise we'll run the headline "I discovered the double helix!" over a picture of Reid squinting into a microscope.