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For whatever revealingly sad reason, Lloyd Grove felt it necessary to close out today's column by reminding his readers of his existence. Like an ignored child that'll do just about anything to get your attention, Grove rattles off a convenient list of his Lowdown exclusives, just in case, you know, someone doesn't want to renew his contract recall his big scoops.

Deposed Times Baghdad chief Susan Sachs ratting out her colleagues' infidelities to their wives? Credit Lowdown. Entertainment Tonight and The Insider paying $800k for convicted molester Mary Kay Letourneau's for rights to their wedding footage? Grove told you first. Mary-Kate Olsen chain-smoking in the bathroom at the Costume Institute Gala? All Lowdown. Columnist desperate to hang on to his job and publically insisting on his relevancy? Must credit Lloyd Grove.

You Heard It Here First [Lowdown (last item)]