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Nielsen Research, the fine company whose television ratings system lets you know that people are crazy for J. Peterman and Joey McIntyre stumbling through a Viennese waltz, have deployed new "local people meters," which have finally discovered something called "minority viewers":

"Girlfriends," a UPN program about a group of black women, ranked No. 1 in May among black Philadelphians using local people meters, and the CBS crime drama "CSI" was first under the previous system, Nielsen said.

The ramifications of this exciting discovery will undoubtedly ripple through the networks. Viacom co-chair Les Moonves will be livid when he finds out that his UPN netlet has been poaching viewers from the higher ad rates of CBS; expect him to mandate that black families move in next door to all of the skinny wives and fat, bumbling husbands of the network's sitcoms immediately in order to get these "minority viewer" eyeballs where they belong.