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• After being maligned by ballerina boy Jude Law, Sienna Miller seeks comfort in the arms of Orlando Bloom, as well as those of her ex-boyfriend, male model David Neville. Sadly, David is not related to Aaron, leaving this romantic tragedy without a preprogrammed soundtrack. [Page Six]
• While Times reporter Judith Miller learns about the history of hip-hop during her incarceration, her husband Jason Epstein enjoys a fine Mediterranean cruise. We're sure he was thinking of wifey the whole time, really! [Lowdown]
• Is Karl Rove hooking up with a Texas lobbyist? And could the thought of Turd Blossom sleeping with anyone be more nauseating? [R&M]
• Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria is reportedly engaged to the Spurs' Tony Parker. Does that make up for the Emmy snub? Eh, probs not. [Scoop (3rd item)]