Finally, a Reason to Stop Drinking
The News introduces us today to a frightening band of alcoholics who find it charming to dress up as pirates and visit New York's bars:
The text messaging begins in the hours ahead of the plundering and pillaging planned for the night.
"Arrrr," read one from Justin (Bonedaddy) Theriault to Jackie (Cap'n Jack) MacLeod. "Our boat be sailin'."
These are the scurrilous words of a band of local pirates — pub-crawling pirates — with the goal of conquering the bars of New York.
By day, they are mild-mannered civilians with jobs at banks and well-meaning nonprofit groups.
But on those nights when pub piracy is nigh, they don eye patches, hoop earrings — and colorful bandanas, too.
At first we were inclined to hate these pirates, because, other than a bachelorette party, we can't imagine a group we'd less like to see enter the hole in the wall in which we're drowning our already copious supply of sorrows. But then we realized fear of running into these guys may well keep us from going to bars in the first place — or, at least, it might make us spend a bit less time indiscriminatingly tippling.
And, ultimately, our liver has to thank them for that.
