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• Courtney Love admits that she's on drugs. Really?! You don't say. A judge has now sentenced her to long-term inpatient rehab, which means Comedy Central roasts will return to their typical suckiness. [Reuters]
• Already vote for Gawker Hotties but still itching to make your opinion count? Take on Bruni vs. William Grimes. [Amateur Gourmet]
• It's the moment you've been waiting for: Starting Monday, the San Fran Chronicle will run Sean Penn's thespiatic dispatches from his time in Iran. Goody. [E&P]
• Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross is so not a lesbian that she's even getting married to a man. [CNN]
• Meanwhile, former pin-up turned bad sitcom possibility Jenny McCarthy is getting divorced. Playboy reunion spread TK. [Us Weekly]
• Feast upon the full line-up for this year's New Yorker Festival, Indie Rock edition. Save your pennies now, tix go on sale August 25. [ProductshopNYC]
• Or don't buy tickets at all out of protest; far be it from you to support this week's Target-sponsored New Yorker abortion. [ChiST]