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• Socialtwat Paris Hilton is yet again insisting she's "so not sexual." Right, because to be consciously sexual would imply some degree of self-awareness. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, producers of the Simple Life are finding it increasingly different to film the reality flick when Hilton and her co-star, Nicole Richie, still aren't speaking. We'd kind of like to see a completely silent version of the series, actually. [Scoop]
• Is Dick Cheney dead? Just wondering. [Lowdown]
• Monica Lewinsky is finally leaving New York for the warm embrace of London, where she'll be pursuing a Master's degree in Social Psychology at the London School of Economics. We challenge you to think of a more inappropriate career path. [Page Six]
• Madonna makes $8 million in 10 hours. You, however, are late with the rent check. [R&M (2nd item)]